ughhhh I'm so frustrated.

posted 3 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 2
7657 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Ultimately, have the wedding where you want to have it. However, I’m not sure how switching locations is going to fix your father issues…won’t they both still be there? Won’t you still have the issue of who gives you away at the end of the aisle or whatever?

Post # 3
706 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

m.gilbertsen: a little story….my bro was getting married in 2008 and initially planned a wedding in our hometown but then changed it to a DW because it was turning out to be so much more work than they were willing to do. I HATED the idea, was really disappointed, etc. BUT not my wedding so kept my mouth shut. Long story short, it was an awesome wedding, everyone had a great time AND I had a DW this year because DH and I just loved the concept and vibe of a DW. 

My advice is, have the wedding that YOU want to have and that makes you and your FI happy. 30 years from now, it’ll be the two of you who will look back on your day and you want it to be a memory that makes you happy, not a day to make others happy. Everyone else will come around eventually so just say “this is what we want to do for our day” and leave it at that. 


Post # 4
495 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

It’s impossible to make everyone happy. It’s YOUR and your fiance’s wedding, you both have to do what makes you two happy. IMO, FI’s family is being petty and selfish. They can have their preferences but it is innappropriate of them to be voicing it like this. My advice is to do what makes you two happy

Post # 5
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

m.gilbertsen:  Go with what you BOTH want.

Me and FI are doing the same and similar response from both sides that “it’s not fair” “too far” “inconsiderate” ect. We both decided that we wanted to enjoy a wedding and honeymoon we could afford without going into debt. Everyone from our family would have to travel regardless if we had it at home or in Jamaica, we live in TX, his family is all west coast and mine is all east coast. At first I was really concerned with everyone’s feelings and contemplating taking out loans to pay for this wedding that “family” wanted us to have. Then one day it hit me (besides all of our friends who told us to do what we wanted) Our family won’t be sending us checks each month to pay off the wedding they wanted us to have, WE are getting married, and we don’t want to start our union by doing what others want us to do, family or not. We have made a mini compromise, we are going to have MR & MRS party when we come back, it’s not going to be super fancy our friend will let us use his bar, I’ll wear my dress again, everyone can watch the wedding video eat some bar food, toast shots and dance.

FYI- no parents are coming to Jamaica, his step mom is unable to travel due to sickness, his father & mother have both passed, my father has passed and my mother has declined. My brother will walk me down the aisle.

Your idea of walking down the aisle is really good, another idea- if/when they do come around and decide to go, your dad could begin to walk you down the aisle and meet halfway to your step dad and you three walk down together.


Keep your head up and go with  your gut!!

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  MrsBlake2015.
Post # 7
7657 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

m.gilbertsen:  Ah, gotchya. I still sya have the wedding you want. It is going to be near impossible to make everyone happy. If you want a destination wedding, have one. Those that love you the most will be there for you. If your FMIL calls you up and tries to make you feel guilty for it, just say, “I am very sorry you feel that way, FMIL, but I hope you are still able to come support and love us just the same. We would love for you to be there.” And leave it at that.

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