Post # 1
- Wedding: March 2014 - Brazil Room
How many of you out there have looked at picture of yourself and were genuinely devastated about your appearance? I recently was featured in a public video about my skills as a martial artist and my portrait pops up at the end… and I’m like “oh god…”.
I know that I’m not classically beautiful or anything and have always been a bit bummed out by that. I mentioned to my Boyfriend or Best Friend about how I was sad that I was so ugly and he laughed and said “well, I guess I should break up with you immediately, right?” Which was a joke because he always tells me how beautiful I am.
But have you ever felt so ugly that you really thought you didn’t deserve to be in a relationship? I know it’s a really twisted thought process… but wanted to see how others felt. 🙁
Post # 3
Hey lady – YES. I HAVE FEEL. EXACTLY LIKE YOU DO. And yes that deserved caps. 🙂
I’ve never thought I was a particularly beautiful gal ever. But since I’ve been with my Fiance I’ve always felt more and more ugly. It’s NOT him – he tells me I’m beautiful every day. But all the girls he knows are beautiful. They can do their makeup and hair wonderfully…I wear basic makeup (foundation, mascara, eye liner, and eye shadow – sometimes sparkly lip gloss) and well let’s face it I definitely DIDN’T graduate from beauty school when it comes to my hair.
Being around these beautiful made up women just makes me feel so insecure. And I feel like he could do so much better. And I worry sometimes he’s going to wake up and realize that.
Post # 4
It’s ok to have days when you don’t feel like you look your best, or see a photo and think it’s a bad angle. But please don’t ever think you are truly ugly, and don’t devastate yourself. You are beautiful, and you have a wonderful man who thinks you are beautiful. Time to see it for yourself.
I’ve done this when I’m feeling blah, and I’ve told friends to do the same: Everytime you look in the mirror, focus on at least one positive. Tell yourself, “Damn, I did a great job on my makeup,” or, “I love my eyes.” Focus on the positive!
Post # 5
That’s sad, because every woman is beautiful!
Post # 6
Yup…. I hate the way I look and am very jealous of other women. 🙁
My Fiance calls me beautiful all the time but I don’t believe him. I know a large part of it is that i’m just to hard on myself.
Post # 7
Let me answer by asking you a couple of questions. Have you ever had a friend or family member who, by Hollywood’s standards, would not necessarily be considered to be good-looking but, because of who the person IS, you thought he or she was truly beautiful, radiant, handsome, attractive?
Most of us know someone — or many someones — or we, ourselves, are in this category. What makes someone good-looking or beautiful has SO much to do with who the person is inside. I’ve seen some extremely good looking/beautiful people from the outside who just do not have confidence, do not smile, or who are very self-centered and negative, and no amount of great hair, perfect skin, wonderful body type, expensive clothes or accessories can truly make that person “beautiful.” Yet, there are so many “regular” looking people who are extremely attractive because of who they are and how they just radiate joy and life to others.
I think most of us have seen pics of ourselves from bad angles, in bad lighting, when our make up or hair was not done the way we would prefer, etc. and we would like to burn those photos! LOL. However, that does not make any of us ugly. The important thing is to remember that an unattractive photo does NOT mean that YOU are unattractive!
Is there any way for you to simply ask that the videomaker swap out the pic you dislike with a new shot that you like?
Post # 8
Yep, I have! I hate my hair right now and my face looks weird in pictures.
Post # 9
Yup. Sometimes I’ll get in a picture taking mood and take like 50 pictures of myself… And I’ll only like 1 picture out of that 50.
Post # 10
I have definitely had that “is he gonna wake up one day and realize he could do better??” feeling before. I guess I try to remember that the grass is always greener. That as much as there are things I don’t like about my face and body, there are people out there who would like to have some of the things I have. I discount the fact that I have good hair when I’m crying about my super fat thighs, but from the comments it sounds like good hair is in demand so I already feel better!
Post # 11
- Wedding: March 2014 - Brazil Room
I know that his coworker has nicely said “well, she’s good for YOU” to my Boyfriend or Best Friend.. which I have interpreted as “but she’s not pretty enough for me”.
But my height is a big turn-off to a lot of guys all in itself. I’m 6’0″, which isn’t glamorous like people think. I was turned down a lot in the dating world because guys would be so insecure about the height ratio not being “just right”. Guys like feeling manly. And I used to be overweight with a bad skin condition too. I lost weight.. got my skin better… and found a guy secure in his own height to be able to be with a woman who is taller than him by a half a foot. But I still don’t feel confident even with all of that. I go to a therapist too to try and help with my issues and some days it helps and others… well.. here I am.
Anyway… just feeling bummed out. But I keep looking at the picture and trying to feel better about it. The photographer doesn’t want to change it out because his vision was to make me look “badass” and not “fashionable or glamorous” … and he said the feedback was that I looked really badass. My Boyfriend or Best Friend said I looked kinda like a zombie. So I don’t know. It’s had over 130 views already since being released last night, so I should just deal.
Just getting really really nervous what my wedding pictures are going to turn out like when that time comes around. I’d hate to think that I polish up nice and have this kind of reality check hit me again 🙁
Post # 12
It’s actually a disorder that is becoming more and more common, google Body Dysmorphic Disorder. Just know that you’re not alone.
Post # 13
Fiance calls me beautiful… as do all his family and friends… to my face, when I’m not there… they’ve told him I’m too pretty for him and he needs to marry me QUICKLY before I realize it haha. Flattering, but it doesn’t stop me from sometimes HATING how I look. I think a lot of people feel this way. 😮
Post # 14
@NovaGrey: From one tall lady to another, I’m so sorry people made you feel out of place and unattractive, it’s terrible that us Amazons get berated in our younger years for the small crime of growing. I know just how you feel, I used to slouch, hide my terribly boney and boyish physique under huge coats and hide in the back of parties. Then I decided that being tall was what set me apart from everyone else, and I decided that instead of feeling badly about what I couldn’t change, I was going to own it and never look back….every now and again some sneering short stack will sleeze up to me, standing 6’4″ in my fabulous boots and ask, “How’s the weather up there Jolly Green Giant?” To which I promptly reply, “It’s raining.” And then spit on him. Keep your head high, you are beautiful!
Post # 15
@Nona99: me too! I am 5’11” and it took me until my late 20s to stop thinking about my height most of the time. I’m actually tall due to a medical condition and the rest of my family (sisters and parents) are 5’5″. Can you imagine how hard that was growing up? Funny, my BFF is 6’2″! she gets lots of comments as you can imagine. I like being tall now though! Do I wish I were 5’9″ sometimes and had smaller feet? Sure! But I never had trouble dating after high school, findig plenty of guys who found me attractive. True, the pool of guys interested in me is definitely smaller than for a small petite conventionally beautiful girl, but I have enough positive stuff going on in my life that I don’t really care. My Darling Husband was confused the first time I let him know about my insecurities about height and looks 2 years or so into our relationship, he thought I was so confident. And I think that is attractive to others. in fact, my Darling Husband and I met online and he says he probably wouldn’t have met me if I were under 5’9″ bc he had just signed up and figured, “eh, why not be picky and limit it to tall girls for now bc that’s what I like most!” He’s only 1 inch taller than me. I do have ugly days for sure, but it never has to do with my height anymore. I hope you can get to the same place! In the meantime, I’m not sure if you’re doing this but I would refrain from making any self depreciaing comments to your partner. that gets old fast. Instead, bask in the glow of his love for (and attraction to) you!
Post # 16
I did martial arts too (and mum was a 2 time state kickboxing champ) and I can honestly say, it is HARD to look pretty and do martial arts at the same time! Your hair is pinned back, you are sweaty, you’re wearing your gi.. It’s just not a flattering look for most people.
We all have off days, even when we are trying our best to look perfect. Photos can be very unflattering, they are only a split second in time. Don’t be hard on yourself about it. I’m sure you are very beautiful, and your SO clearly thinks so as he tells you all the time how attractive you are.