Weddingbee boards

In the past two weeks, I've had three occasions where I had to tell people that they were not invited to the wedding. I feel guilty and I hate it.

My FH and I met and lived in Phoenix. We decided to have our wedding there and shortly thereafter moved to San Francisco, but chose to continue planning the wedding in Phoenix. Fastforward to now, it's about two months before the wedding. All of the invitations have been sent out. Last week, I took a trip to Phoenix to do a few wedding related things and visit with friends.

1. I went into the office where I used to work to see a friend who coincidentally is my former bosses' son. He is invited to the wedding and RSVP'd as such. When his parents came out to say hello he started talking about the wedding and asked if they had gotten their invitation yet. Ack! They're not invited. I flat-out lied because I was caught off guard. I know I shouldn't have, but I said that all the invitations hadn't been sent out yet. It is a small family owned business, but I was never particularly close to my bosses, but their (adult) son was someone I was friends with and saw outside of work.

2. Another former co-worker (who got married recently herself) started texting me a couple weeks ago, asking about my wedding. I was polite and answered her questions, but I ended the conversation quickly because I knew the "So, am I invited?" was coming. She and I never got along. We tolerated each other, at best. I have barely spoken to her in a year and haven't seen her in over a year. As soon as I got into Phoenix, I got a text from her that basically said, "I don't know if you know, but this is my address." Subtle. I think she expects to be invited because I was invited to her wedding. However, at that time, we were working together and had many friends in common. Plus, I had also agree to housesit for her while she was on her honeymoon (she wasn't going to be there, why should I care!).

3. I got another text from another friend this morning saying that her best friend didn't recieve an invitation. I don't dislike this person, she always been very nice to me. However, I've never spent any significant amount of time with her and never spent any time with her unless we were both hanging out with our mutual friend. I don't know her SO well either. They also have two children and we've elected to not have children at the wedding. Anyways, my friend asked if she could include her friend and her daughter on her family's RSVP. We have a 75 person limit for the wedding and while I'd like to tell her, "Sure, bring whoever you want! The more the merrier!" I just can't. It's looking like we're going to have exactly 75 people already.

It's all just so awkward! The first two situations didn't worry me that much. I don't really care if I hurt my former bosses feelings and I don't care if my former didn't-like-me-anyways co-worker gets upset. But I do care about hurting the feelings of someone who has been nothing but nice to me. I wish I could have invited everyone, but here in reality, that's just not possible. The line has to be drawn somewhere. If there happen to be two vacant seats, I would love to have them come, but I'm sure that would make them feel awkward being invited last minute and all.

Sorry bees, I just needed to vent a little. How have you all dealt with situations like this?

The way people ask, it seems like they know it's not polite, but that they think they should be an exception. Do people think I purposely want to cause myself MORE stress? Of course I don't, but it's not like it's a barbeque or a kegger; it's a formal event and we're expecting 75 people, which is what we can afford.