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unfortunately people procrastinate! I would wait a day or two after the RSVP Date before calling anyone. You cant get too upset over that of which you cant control.
Yah..I feel you. I invited 240 and we have 65 back. I sent them 3 months prior and now it's 2 months prior. I was pretty early but only b/c I was super excited. I know a lot are coming for sure but didn't rsvp!!!
Call them... We wrangled and wrangled and cajoled, and we still had 1 person show up who never responded or RSVP'd... Ah Tahoe!
I know that we had two big flows of RSVPs - right after we sent out our invitations, then right around the due date (2 days before the due date to 2 days after the due date)...
I agree with the previous poster that you should wait until a few days after the date, then begin calling ("Hi! I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but I'm afraid that your RSVP may have gotten lost in the mail! We need to give our caterer some final numbers this week and I realized that we haven't heard anything from you!")
You always have to end up calling ppl, its unfortunate but it happens... lol
To echo what others have said - you will have to call. And people will procrastinate. Can your mom call? I told my mom when we started the planning that I wanted her to call all the people who don't RSVP by the due date, and we planned ours extra early (3 wks before wedding) so she would have time to do it and still get that stuff ordered. Good luck!
I would send out a reminder email or text. I just did that- we are in the same predicament, only received about 20% of rsvps and there's only about 6 days to due date.
Hell I am still geting one back every now and then and responses were requested by June 30th!
Anyone who is not apart of the planning process just does not understand that we pannick when things are not turning out quite as we thought. Most people have a tendency to not RSVP for anything. I think you should stay calm and start making phone calls a couple of days after your RSVP date. We made our RSVP date like the first week in October even though we are not getting married until the 31st because we planned for the need of many phone calls. Remember this is one of the most exciting times in our lives, try to stay calm (hard to do I know but important) stress takes to much of the excitement away.
First off, BREATHE!!
There are many that will not RSVP until later. Because a week or so before my deadline I had 120 + guests that didn't respond yet, I decided to send them a friendly reminder email about the upcoming deadline. This helped out a lot. Many of the responses I received that day or in the upcoming days. If and when the deadline arrives and you have outstanding responses, spread the load to family members and start calling people. I contacted my family members to help talk to the outstanding responses. Not only did I get responses but the work wasn't just on me.
Just don't get too upset. My deadline was a week ago and I still have 4 outstanding.
You will get there! Good luck!
I was really surprised at the lack of responses we got too. It's really surprising. Anyway, in our case, we assumed a lot of people were not coming, but are following up with the ones on the fence.
Most people do not like to RSVP to anything. Even if they know for sure they're going, it's like that final commiting that freaks them out. Me - once I receive a wedding invitation in the mail it's like a ticking time bomb. I literally fill it out and run it out to the mail that same minute because I know how stressful it is for people planning weddings.
As long as you gave yourself enough time between the RSVP date and your wedding date, don't worry about it. A few days after your RSVP date just send out emails or call people who haven't responded. You can always start making the boxes now if you have to or call the supply company and give them an estimate without signing anything.
Like the others, I was totally shocked to see how many people did not respond to our RSVP request. We had a lot of responses that came in right at the deadline and within a couple of days after. Also, we had people who simply never sent the cards back--we had to call a few people to get their answers. I don't know why people do this, but at least know that you're not the only bride who has had to deal with this!
@hcritton - I'm in the same boat as you with this, my deadline just passed and I'm waiting for a lot of RSVPs. I wanted to order my M&Ms early so I had to estimate. Can you go through your list and get a ball park number based on who you know will come? For me, I estimated 200 and got enough M&Ms for that many people. If less show up, they'll get more in each box. This made sense b/c I was ordering the M&Ms in 5-10lb bags and so 20 people weren't going to make a big difference in the number of bags I need. BTW, having 30lbs of M&Ms in the house is SO tempting, I had to go out and buy a bag of regular ones so that I wouldn't touch the super expensive custom ones!!
Oh and I used the promotion code percent6 and got 10% off!
I wold totally recommend calling them too... our RSVP date was Friday so I'm giving them until Wednesday to get to me and then I'm making calls.
yup... my due date came and went and HALF of the people on the invite list didn't respond.... I feel your pain. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
once that rsvp deadline hits I would suggest you start pounding your cell phone, tell them upfront you need to start ordering linens etc and need an accurate head count, then they will stop procrastinating, its hard to plan...put your foot down and start calling them up you have planning to do sister!
I sent my invitations our 4 months ago, I have everyone back except for one as soon as it hits the deadline I'm calling her 59 are coming I have one more left and 5 weeks to go, call me compulsive, I sent an e-mail explaining I will be very busy and on call one month before the wedding so no room for procrastinators, everyone understood and sent tthem in right away, mostly family and close friends
in addition I will be sending an e-mail 10 days before to get an accurate head count in case people back out I am leaving nothing to chance
one friend had 10 no shows she lost $700 plus tax
another friend had 10 no shows and lost $1800
I am leaving nothin to chance at $246 a head I am not willing to have no shows or those who have to change their minds last minute
be firm!
Our due date isn't until September 8th but we only receive 1 or 2 a day. I anticipate many who will forget to send the card back - my FI is notorious for doing this and now i am so embarrased by ever being late for someone's wedding RSVP. As others have said, people don't understand what is put on hold (so much!) until you have an accurate head count. I am going to email people a few days before the due date and then the calls will begin.
Don't stress..it's normal. Just breathe, try calling people when they are at work so there's no awkwardness of putting them on the spot. A VM is a nice and effective reminder.
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I'm trying not to panick. But out 61 invites sent out, we have 17 back, and there is only 8 days left before the RSVP due date! I got a total of 3 back last week. I'm starting to stress because I can't order the table cloths, table runners, plates, cups, knives, spoons, forks, napkins, or custom M&M colors for the favor boxes yet because I don't know how many to order. I can't make my favor boxes, favor bags, etc because I don't know how many to make. So far with the 17 RSVPs back, that's only 43 guests out of a possible 160 so it's a big difference to me. So what happens if in 8 days I don't get 44 more RSVPs back? Do I call people? Assume they are not coming? I am so frustrated I just don't understand what is so hard about writing your name on an RSVP postcard that already has postage on it and sticking it in the mail! This is normal right?