(Closed) Umm…Awkward *update

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yup, that’s awkward.  I honestly wouldn’t even send her anything more.  It seems within your right to only send a gift or card for an event you’ve been invited to.  However, before you ‘snub’ her, is there a way to tactfully find out if she did actually invite you but the invite got lost in transit? 

Post # 4
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2011

If you want to maintain a friendship then I would send a card and a small gift like you said. But if you do not plan on remaining friends I wouldn’t worry about it or just send a card. I would be offended and definitely would not attend the bac party especially bc it requires so much effort on your part.

My guess is that since you said you couldn’t come to the wedding she just did not mail you an invite either because she ran short on invites, was trying to save postage, was being lazy, or/and does not know proper etiquette. Are you friends with others that are attending the wedding/bac party? You could mention your lack of invite to them, maybe they could bring it up in conversation with the bride there and see her reaction. If it was a mistake you should be getting a phone call within the week and if not just send the card, cross her off the friend list and go buy something for yourself instead.

Post # 5
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

A card and a small gift sounds really nice.

Post # 6
Member
1206 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think you are handling it admirably!  I’d be so weirded out in this situation, but I hope I’d react similarly…I don’t think there’s any reason to totally write her off or make her (or you) feel badly about the whole thing.  Send the card, a small/not pricey gift, and feel good about yourself!

Post # 7
Member
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Very weird.  Even if you have already told her that you would not be able to come, she still should send you an invitation if she expressed that she would be inviting you.  I don’t understand why people don’t send invitations even when they hear the person cannot attend – it’s poor ettiquette. 

Sure, invitations are expensive, but if you have already told someone you will invite them, then you need to invite them.

Post # 8
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Yeah, you’re doing way more than me.  I wouldn’t send anything.  She obviously doesn’t know proper etiquette…

Post # 9
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think a card and a gift is a very gracious thing to do.

Post # 10
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I would send a card and say nothing at this point.  I had a couple people I had errors in the mailing address and by the time the invites got back, it was to late to resend.  Although I did call ahead and let them know it would be coming late, it is not something to be fuming about.

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