(Closed) “ummm hi, i’m ur little sister and i hope i get 2 meet u 1 day”…

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Sooo should I respond to her?
    Yes, but you should take some time to think about a response... : (71 votes)
    81 %
    Yes, fire away... : (11 votes)
    13 %
    No, why bother? : (4 votes)
    5 %
    Other... : (2 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    3220 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    How old is she? If she’s young, I’d cut her a little more slack (though I can totally understand your shock!) 

    Post # 4
    2263 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Weird…. how old is she, just wondering? I think it’d be a little more understandable if she were too young to realize this may be upsetting….. I agree it’s weird, but maybe she is just excited. :/

    Post # 6
    2512 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Honestly, I can see why you are a bit fustrated, but take yourself away from your feelings and think about how she feels.

    It probably wasn’t the most mature way to approach you, but she is probably just as emotional about the whole thing as you are.

    I think just because you have ill feelings (or no feelings) towards your bio-father, you shouldn’t let that ruin an opportunity to connect with blood family. She obviously wants to make some sort of connection with you.


    So I think you should give youself some time to think about how you really feel. Then once you have thought deeply about the big picture, do what you think is best for you. If what is best for you is not talking to her, then don’t. 

    Good luck 🙂 

    Post # 7
    1269 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    Your preferred response sounds like someone who’s at least out of highschool.  This girl sounds definitely not that. 

    ETA: Just saw your update but I still think her response is not that that weird considering her age. 

    Also, are you going to respond?  I think it would be understandable if you did or did not want to meet her.

    Post # 8
    2538 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I’m really hoping that she’s 12 or 13 and just found out about you. That said, if I had another sibling out there, I’d want to meet him/her too. However, I wouldn’t introduce myself in text speak. Sorry for the giant shock.

    Post # 9
    2393 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    I would definitely respond to her!  She is just as innocent in this situation as you are.  Just because your biological father was less than stellar does not mean you or your sister should suffer because of it.

    The way she responded to you maybe the the only way she knows how to communicate.  She probably wasn’t as lucky as you to be adopted by a dad who was there for you and loved you your whole life. 

    Post # 10
    2522 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Respond if you feel comfortable.  I’m in a similar dynamic.  My mother’s first marriage she had three children.  She left them and my sister and I.  So while they were with their dad, my sister and I were with ours.  So we never got to know each other.  I don’t know my mother at all or her family.  I am facebook friends with my half sister and one aunt but it’s a really weird dynamic to tell you the truth.  I don’t think I’ll ever be comfortable especially since we differ so much.  So you have my sympathies, if you don’t feel comfortable just ignore it.

    Post # 12
    209 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    How old is she? From her message she sounds young, unsure, and possibly excited to get the chance to know you. Also, I realize this is a very emotional and sore subject for you–regarding your biological father–so I would cut her some slack.

    As someone who has a host of half-siblings that I am in touch with as an adult, I completely understand. I found out about one of them (we don’t speak) a younger sister I have via a website–which was kind of shocking. Your sister probably just wants to get to know more about you…and there are ways to do that without involving your biological father, should that be something you want to do.

    Post # 13
    7431 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Definitely not the best first impression, but there could be a number of reasons that you she went about it that way.  I would definitely be taken aback, though.  Some people think that any amount of blood makes you a relative, but I don’t know I woudl start off right away with the label…honestly, no idea what I would do!

    Are you going to talk to her?

    Post # 14
    2263 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Um… okay…. wow. I would say take some time to decide still. It’s totally up to you. If you want to open up this door and talk to her, go ahead. If not… I honestly don’t see anything wrong with that, either. There are many people who are adopted in my family and I understand that it’s a personal choice whether or not to ever connect with your biological family.

    Post # 15
    2247 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Yes, she IS your sister. I really, really HATE when people have a half sibling and treat them like dirt because they don’t share the same two parents.  All of my siblings are “half” siblings, but I love them all more than words can describe.  It is NOT this girl’s fault that your biological father left you.  You don’t need to be rude to her because of what HE did.  I don’t know how old she is, or much about her social training, but maybe she didn’t realize that she could have worded the message differently.  If she is a teenager or something, I am sure the text talk is just something she is used to (sadly, most of them are).  It probably took a lot of courage for her to contact you.  I know that I have a little sister I’ve never met, who was adopted, and one day when I contact her I pray to God she doesn’t have this reaction you’re having right now.  I understand you’re angry at your father, but look at things on the bright side.  You ended up being raised and adopted by a better man.  You’re lucky.  It is only natural that your SISTER be interested in knowing you.  I am not sure if your bio father stuck around for your younger sister, and maybe that is why you’re so resentful towards her.  Either way, you should really try looking at this from her position.


    Okay, just read your post about her being 20, but some 20 year olds STILL talk in txt talk.  My mom does.  You need to be a bit more patient.  You can talk to her and not tell her EVERYTHING about your life.  Just give her the benefit of the doubt.  Has your bio father left her the way he left you?  Is she still a huge part of his life?? Talk to her.  Find out if she still has anything to do with this dirtbag.  If she doesn’t, maybe you will find that you enjoy bonding with your sister.

    Post # 16
    198 posts
    Blushing bee

    I have no contact with my biological father, however I do not hold a grudge against my half-sibling who I have not seen since he was an toddler (he would now be 16). Though I doubt he would, if he ever decided to reach out and have a relationship with me, I would proceed with caution because it is not his fault that my father or my step-mother treated me the way they did. (not abandonment, but years of emotional abuse)

    The topic ‘“ummm hi, i’m ur little sister and i hope i get 2 meet u 1 day”…’ is closed to new replies.

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