(Closed) Un-enthusiastic Bridesmaid…bit of long rant.

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
1736 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

One of my bridesmaids isn’t coming to my bachelorette…and I just said que sera sera. It’s unfortunate that she is backing out after everyone’s willingness to accommodate her schedule, but I think you should let it go. She doesn’t have to go – but it would have been nice to have her there. I completely understand.

Take things that you hear from others with a grain of salt. Sometimes not everything is communicated to you and most of what you are upset about is information you are getting from others. Take a step back, reassess and if you think any of it warrants a conversation with your friend – make an effort to give her a call and check in. Otherwise, don’t add any drama onto your plate. I’m sure you have enough stuff to deal with!

Post # 4
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

To be honest, the bachelorette isn’t a huge deal to me. 4 out of my 7 bridesmaids were able to make it, and I was fine with that. Sometimes, you just don’t know other people’s circumstances. If she’s not going to be there, her loss. I’d let this one roll off my back. 

Post # 5
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Honestly, when I read things about difficult/un-excited/unenthusiastic bridesmaids (and it seems to be often these days), the first thing I wonder is how or why they were asked to be a bridesmaid in the first place?

If she’s flat-out complaining about things she “has” to do (which she volunteered for) and acting like being a bridesmaid is a burden on her, perhaps you had better take her aside and ask her quite seriously if she’s invested in this role. If not, it’s far better to let her step down from her duties before she further disappoints you and her behavior takes a toll on your stress and nerves.

Post # 7
9 posts
  • Wedding: July 2013

So I’m probably in the minority but the bigger problem I have is that people are sharing her complaints with you. That’s unbelievably rude. I’m sure they probably think they’re doing you a favor by telling you what your bridesmaid is really like but honestly it’s just rude to tell a bride that the hostess is complaining behind her back. That accomplishes nothing & just adds to your stress, anxiety and hurt feelings. You’re obviously not blind to her unethusiastic behavior, what point does it serve to add to it? You should be enjoying this time. If I were a fellow bridesmaid or family member I’d do my best to protect you from her complaints.

Two years ago I threw a baby shower for my best friend. Her mom & I planned it together. All her mom did was complain about the price & work. I was so annoyed I wish I had just planned it on my own. But to this day I still haven’t told my friend about her mom’s behavior (and honestly she probably wouldn’t be the least bit surprised to hear about it – she’s no dummy) but I just didn’t want to ruin her big day or make her sad. 

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