Post # 1
The short version:
(DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH PEOPLE OF OPPOSITE POLITICAL VIEWS. SHE HAS BEEN A PROBLEM IN THE PAST.)
Basically, my brother died a little less than year ago. At the wake, my Aunt got into a political argument with some of my Mom’s friends, my friend’s boyfriend, my Dad’s family and my fiance (still boyfriend when this happend). They were trying to brush her off (mostly) because they knew it was inappropriate. Anyway she got so rowdy and angry that it caused my Mom (who was already upset) to sob uncontrollably. Even after begging her to stop arguing she did not. To make matters worse she kept saying “Oh, must be nice that you can afford to throw your son such a fancy wake.”
So now, I’m getting married next September and my fiance started a job in politics (opposite party of my Aunt). My Aunt found out about his new job and has been pestering me NON STOP about how wrong I am and how poorly his views will reflect on me. THE INVITATIONS HAVEN’T EVEN GONE OUT YET!!!!!
I know she will cause problems with the people my fiance works with who will be attending. I am also don’t want her to make me feel bad about how much the wedding costs like she did at my brother’s wake. I know all I’ll hear is “Oh my daughters weddings will never be this nice, we just can’t afford it” and I do not want to be “shamed” into feeling bad on our day. I want my cousins and my uncle there, but that means she will have to come too.
My problem is I don’t want her there, but my Mom will never speak to me again if I don’t invite her. I keep thinking maybe she won’t act like this at my wedding and I should just invite her. On the other hand, she behaved like that at my brother’s WAKE.
I want her family there, just not her!! What should I do.
Post # 2
I would talk with your mother- has the aunt apologized for being crazy at the wake to your mom and to your family? if not i would not feel comfortable inviting the aunt to the wedding.
how does your mom feel about this issue?
i invited my brother to my second wedding because i didnt want my mom pissed at me. he and my sister inlaw didnt come and it was on their terms. i was glad they didnt come and my mom couldnt blame me for them not showing up..
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2015 - The Old Courthouse in Cleveland
First, I’m very sorry about your brother, and for your family having the extra stress on such a sad day.
I’d talk to your mom. I would tell her that you do not want her there, hear what she has to say, then go from there. Maybe if she refuses to budge you can work out a plan with her. Like, she needs to talk to her before the wedding and tell her that politics is NOT to be discussed at your wedding and that if they are and if she is rude then she will be asked to leave. Then, stick to your guns. I feel like that would put most people in their place, but this aunt does not seem to be very tactful about the arguements she picks and the time and place…
Post # 4
Don’t worry about it. My daughter isn’t inviting an uncle/aunt from her side and her FH isn’t inviting an uncle from his. Invite the people who will be there to celebrate with you, not make you miserable.
Post # 5
TXredbird: I’m so sorry about your brother.
I second (third) PPs that you should talk to your mom. Are you sure she wants her sister there, after what she did at her own son’s wake? Talk to your mother and hopefully you can get on the same page. Perhaps you will convince her. Perhaps she will convince you that if she can forgive her, then so can you. Either way, I think a conversation with her is the way to go.
BTW, don’t expect your uncle or any of their underage children to attend if your aunt isn’t invited.
Post # 6
“I know all I’ll hear is “Oh my daughters weddings will never be this nice, we just can’t afford it””
I’d take this opportunity to respond “Oh, well if you supported [your party’s] economic plan, then maybe you would have the money.” Then walk away. 😉
Seriously, you can totally justify not inviting her. It sounds like your mother would probably support your decision, not to mention other family members who remember her acting so inappropriately.
Post # 7
I’m just getting past some family issues as well that were factors in who we were inviting to our wedding this Spetember 7th, so I can relate to this! Know that you still have a few months to see how things go. Is she a family member that you see around the holidays? Perhaps you can better determine how you feel about her then.<br /><br />What she said at your brothers wake was inexcusable, and she does not sound like a very pleasant woman. So sorry for the loss of your brother.