Uncle Officiate vs. Atheist

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
10384 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Why not just have another family member you love but who is also an athiest officiate? My mom married us. No religion in our ceremony!

Post # 4
3202 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@prahajess:  Yikes, that’s a toughie.

Honestly, how MUCH would it bother you to have religion in the ceremony? Maybe that should be the deciding factor.

I am also an atheist, and I would feel really weird and sort of fraudulent if our ceremony got religious. I certainly don’t mind sitting in on a religious ceremony/going to church occasionally, but I would feel bizarre if my MARRIAGE ceremony was religious. So for me, I would have to go the non-uncle route. I mean, he’ll still be there, supporting you, etc. Maybe you could have him do a toast?

BUT if you feel like it wouldn’t be all that weird, then I say go for the uncle!

Post # 5
1327 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

My first thought was ask him to do a more secular ceremony but then I read the rest…too bad that is out.

Personally, I do not think people should have a wedding ceremony that does not match their values or beliefs.  I’m agnostic, and FI is atheist.  For us the idea of a religious ceremony (both raised Catholic so family prefers church weddings) seems almost disrespectful, since we’d basically be lying through the ceremony since we don’t beleive it. 

Perhaps you can have him participate in a different way?  Since he did your siblings weddings it might be nice to include him for traditions sake.  Maybe he would be fine with doing a non-religious reading or something like that.

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