Uncomfortable Bride

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
7019 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

leniluu:  Tell them words to the effect of, “This is our wedding and we’d like to do it our way”. And if they press the issue, “When you get married you can do that”. As for dancing: we didn’t have dancing either, but fortunately that is fairly common in Australia.

Given the choice between conforming and doing it your way, I vote to almost always do it your way. My wedding wasn’t perfect (though it was wonderful!) but at least I did it my way and the mistakes were all mine.

Post # 3
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

aussiemum1248 + 1

And if they keep pressing, I just say “Maybe next time” and watch that register… 

Post # 4
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

HOnestly, you are taking people way too seriously. Laugh these comments off!  No one can make you do anything you don’t want to, so why stress about it? 

Plan the wedding you want and do it your way.

Post # 6
659 posts
Busy bee

I know what you mean about people expecting you to be mega excited and hyper about EVERYTHING! Then when you’re not people think it’s because you don’t want to get married and start worrying about you. All I can suggest is to ignore it as you won’t stop people being like this and try to remember that they are just excited for you and don’t mean anys harm.

I’m confused about the whole being flashy with your ring part though…what does that even mean?!

Post # 7
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

jpbee:  +1

leniluu:  It’s totally cool to do things EXACTLY how you want to do them. I agree that it’s tough being so giddy and barfy happy all of the time and it does sting a bit when people are like, “aren’t you excited?” For me, I am excited but there are many other emotions at play too. I would just keep doing what you are doing by you and your FI making choices and deposits independently and leave it at that.

prahajess was right too. Try to let that stuff that bothers you roll off your back a bit more. I’m sure they are trying to be happy and supportive but it’s just not translating well enough to your liking.

Post # 8
1201 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: A very pretty church.

leniluu:  I feel you ladybro, people were grabbing my hand all over the place and asking ridiculously specific questions about things I have more than a year to decide (and don’t care) about. I have found it super uncomfortable. The way I have tried to look at is they are either a) wedding crazy people who are super excited about any possible wedding ever…so I shouldn’t take it personally or b) trying to be polite. I think that split is 1:9, most people don’t really care, they’re just making all the socially acceptable polite interest noises.

Post # 11
2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

This is your wedding and your relationship. You are not a TV show nor do you have to entertain people’s morbid curiousity by being relationship entertainment for them. You dont want dancing dont do it :). We aren’t doing it. We are doing dinner with fireworks instead. People can be creepers just ignore them.

Post # 12
1500 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016

Not all women are “flashy” or “care about what other people think of them”, and I think your inability to be friends with them is more your narrow, close-minded view of them as opposed to your “opposing interests”. As other people have said, those who are bugging you are probably just excited since it’s new. They’ll wind down, especially if you brush it off as no big deal.

Post # 14
659 posts
Busy bee

leniluu:  Ah I understand now, I agree that isn’t something I would do too. If people ask about my ring I show them but I wouldn’t bring it up first and make a point of showing it off! That would be awkward. As you say it doesn’t mean you don’t like you’re ring! Hope you’re feeling a bit better avout everything now.

Post # 15
5808 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

leniluu:  Check out A Practical Wedding blog. Lots of women like you.

PS- we had a lunch reception so there wasnt any dancing. You can have a great wedding (and wonderful marriage) without all the dancing LOL

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