uncomfortable issue with a bridesmaid/in-law

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@baj5201:  Honestly, I wouldn’t even let it get to you. Your FI spoke to her and I wouldn’t address it unless it is brought up to you personally. 

Post # 4
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

pretend like it never happened

Post # 5
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Don’t say anything at all. If she asks you (which would be rude) just reply with “we could only have *** number of people in the bridal party.”

Post # 6
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee

Personally, I would not address it any further.  Your FI already approached her about it and (hopefully) she is aware that neither of you are okay with her antics.  If you bring it up with her on your own, it will only add more fuel to the fire for your in-laws.

Post # 7
Member
42546 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

First, let me say Welcome to the Hive.

I would not raise the issue, and absolutley not at any public event.

It will get you no where. She will pretend she only inquired. You will get upset. No gain.

 

Post # 8
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@baj5201:  Some people are VERY presumptious, including this BM. As PP said, just smile and nodd and have a good time.

IF she brings it up to you, you really do not own her an explanation, but a nice “This is what FI and I decided on” repeated ad naseaum should do the trick. 

Post # 10
Member
213 posts
Helper bee

i hate that crap!!! i understand exactly why you’re pissed off. some people feel so entitled. it makes no sense to me. i don’t understand why there’s such weight that goes with a bridal party. never ONCE have i felt insulted for not being a bridesmaid. it’s the bride’s/groom’s choice and that’s that. even if i WAS a little bummed i would NEVER bring it up to them. that’s insanity.

Post # 11
Member
1259 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I agree with most of the others on here. Don’t say anything about it. If she brings it up again, I would just tell her that you’re sorry if she was insulted but you would like to leave the bridal party as it is.

Post # 12
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Ehhhh….act classy and pretend that all is good with the world. This will pass.

Post # 13
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@baj5201:  Don’t say anything to her. People make all kinds of insane demands that I’ll never understand. Why would anyone ever expect their kids who you barely know to be involved? And why do they even want that? So bizarre.

Post # 14
Member
236 posts
Helper bee

@brooklyn_bee:  Here here! Exactly, usually if I had a hope I may be asked and wasn’t, there was a reason (family members needed to be included, numbers were limited ect). and I would shrug and move on. 

Post # 15
Member
1136 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@brooklyn_bee:  +10000000000!!!

It never ceases to amaze me that people feel so intitled.. it’s not their wedding! The bride and groom should be free to make all the decisions based on what makes THEM happy.. I’m sorry but having to do things just to make other people happy on your own wedding day really irks me!

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