Post # 1
I’ve never “blogged” before but would really appreciate any advice on this in-law related topic. I have a huge bridal party for my upcoming wedding, due, in part, to the fact that I’ve included some family members of my fiance’s that I don’t have much of a relationship with. (I did this because it was important to my fiance, and seemed like a minor thing to make him happy.) Now, as it is getting closer, one of the bridesmaids on his side has let it be known to some family members that she is insulted that her children were not included in our bridal party as well. When my fiance spoke to her about it, she played it cool, like she was just “wondering why they weren’t included,” but I feel pretty annoyed that she even had the nerve to put that out there. It feels unsettled, and I will be seeing her soon at our next bridal party get together. Any advice on how to address it without seeming like a b*tch?
Post # 3
@baj5201: Honestly, I wouldn’t even let it get to you. Your FI spoke to her and I wouldn’t address it unless it is brought up to you personally.
Post # 4
pretend like it never happened
Post # 5
Don’t say anything at all. If she asks you (which would be rude) just reply with “we could only have *** number of people in the bridal party.”
Post # 6
Personally, I would not address it any further. Your FI already approached her about it and (hopefully) she is aware that neither of you are okay with her antics. If you bring it up with her on your own, it will only add more fuel to the fire for your in-laws.
Post # 7
First, let me say Welcome to the Hive.
I would not raise the issue, and absolutley not at any public event.
It will get you no where. She will pretend she only inquired. You will get upset. No gain.
Post # 8
@baj5201: Some people are VERY presumptious, including this BM. As PP said, just smile and nodd and have a good time.
IF she brings it up to you, you really do not own her an explanation, but a nice “This is what FI and I decided on” repeated ad naseaum should do the trick.
Post # 9
thanks for all your feedback ladies!
julies1949- you’re right, it will be played off like an innocent “inquiry,” which will only aggrivate the situation more.
i guess the best bet is to just let it rest
Post # 10
i hate that crap!!! i understand exactly why you’re pissed off. some people feel so entitled. it makes no sense to me. i don’t understand why there’s such weight that goes with a bridal party. never ONCE have i felt insulted for not being a bridesmaid. it’s the bride’s/groom’s choice and that’s that. even if i WAS a little bummed i would NEVER bring it up to them. that’s insanity.
Post # 11
I agree with most of the others on here. Don’t say anything about it. If she brings it up again, I would just tell her that you’re sorry if she was insulted but you would like to leave the bridal party as it is.
Post # 12
Ehhhh….act classy and pretend that all is good with the world. This will pass.
Post # 13
@baj5201: Don’t say anything to her. People make all kinds of insane demands that I’ll never understand. Why would anyone ever expect their kids who you barely know to be involved? And why do they even want that? So bizarre.
Post # 14
@brooklyn_bee: Here here! Exactly, usually if I had a hope I may be asked and wasn’t, there was a reason (family members needed to be included, numbers were limited ect). and I would shrug and move on.
Post # 15
It never ceases to amaze me that people feel so intitled.. it’s not their wedding! The bride and groom should be free to make all the decisions based on what makes THEM happy.. I’m sorry but having to do things just to make other people happy on your own wedding day really irks me!