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So I have a question:
I have noticed that anytime someone spells their name or baby's name differently than what it common, people find it annoying or advise them not to do that.
I just want to hear some opinions, why? Why do so many people think it's a bad idea?
I, personally, have a very uncommon name (not even in the top 1000 on the census bureau), and no one EVER spells it right. Sure I have to spell it out everywhere I go, but honestly I DON'T MIND! I guess I love my individuality. I love that no one in any class I've ever taken, shared my name and I love that it's different and beautiful and I am the only person who has to live up to this name. It's mine, you know?
Anyhow, just want to see why people feel/think different things :)
You are the only person I've ever met with an uncomon spelling who doesn't mind CONSTANTLY having to correct people (either on the spelling, the pronunciation, or both). Plus it gets screwed up on documents and thing that have to be re-done. It is really just a pain, IMO.
Plus, now-a-days a lot of people are purposfully creating really silly looking mis-spellings of name to try to make their children have "unique" names. IMO, it makes them look illiterate.
I try to look at it from a perspective of when my future children graduate college and are looking for jobs. Is this name going to look adult and professional on the top of a resume? If not, I'd never consider it for my child.
To me, giving a kid a unique spelling is just pointless.
If they're in a class with 2 other Ashley's, it won't make a difference that their name is Ashlee. It's all pronounced the exact same, so might as well make it easy on them and everyone else and spell it the correct way.
Having a unique spelling does absolutely nothing for the actual name, so what is the point?
I can understand if it is an uncommon name. Mine totally is because my parents came from a different country.
But with different spellings, it depends on how much different it is. My worry is if it's so different that people have trouble pronouncing it. Another consideration is when this person has to put his/her name on resumes or they have a number in their name (true story, a teacher has told me a mother spelled her child's name with a 3 instead of e).
I agree. Uncommon names with weird spellings okay. Common names with weird spellings (unless it is after a family member who had said weird spelling) not okay. It makes you look like you're trying too hard to be special.
"I try to look at it from a perspective of when my future children graduate college and are looking for jobs. Is this name going to look adult and professional on the top of a resume? If not, I'd never consider it for my child."
THIS!
If a hiring manager is going through resumes, and 2 candidates have equal qualifications, but one is named "Rebecca" and the other is "Rheebekkuh", which do you think has a higher chance of going into the interview pile and which has a higher chance of going into the trash?
As far as I'm concerned, you can name your child anything you want and spell it any way you want-completely ignoring the English language if you choose.
BUT, don't get on my case when I spell your child's name incorrectly or assume that Charley is a boy and call your child "he". I work on the phone. I have no idea what you were thinking when you decided to spell Phillip- "Filip".
Yes your child is unique and an individual. Yes, the spelling of his name makes you look like an idiot.
Coming from someone whose name is spelled the British way and having to correct it constantly, just spell it the way most people spell it. One of my professional certificates that I just achieved doesn't have my first name spelled correctly so now I have to figure out who to call to get a new one. This is always happening to me.
@Mrs.KMM:I hate that it sounds kind of judgmental, but I think it makes people seem illiterate as well.
My sons name can be spelt Keane, Kean, Keean but I actually thought it could cause less confusion to spell it Keyan since thats how it sounds... I like unique names and spellings however.
@julies1949: This!
I work in NICU - and every time a parent has to spell their kids name out because they took a decent name and changed it up so it is more "unique" I roll my eyes so hard my brain hurts.
Guess what - everyone and their dog is changing spellings in their chosen names to make them more "speshul". At this point - it is far more unique to use the traditional spelling. When you spell Michael "Mykul" it makes you look like you are illiterate.
Seriously, it makes you look like a goof! People will be nice to your face about it, then behind your back the eye rolling and imitations start (at least where I work!).
I think sometimes unique spellins help with the pronounciation of some names. Like one bee said on another forum, Sean - of course we all know that name but it isn't phonetically correct!
I am considering "Jynette" as a middle name if I have a girl because it's how it's said phonetically, not Janette, but with a Ji sound. Plus it is after a grandmother and aunt. If that makes sense.
Sometime phonetical can be good.
My name, though uncommon, isn't ever mispronounced and I agree, if it will be mispronounced than it probably shouldn't be used.
I think a lot of the "annoyance" of differently spelled names comes from A) people trying too hard to have a unique name or B) the issues of pronunciation, constant correction, or mistakes associated with the spelling.
Personally, if you want people to say your child's name as Branden then spell it correctly and not something like Brandyn. Throwing in random vowels or double consonants doesn't change that you picked a "traditional" name.
As a teacher, it DOES annoy me to see names spelled strangely, when it affects pronunciation. It cannot be easy for a child to constantly have to correct every new person who tries to read their name. It's probably not as hard to correct spelling when the letters are commonly interchangable (It's Mollie with an 'ie').
@miss-spunkin: I'm not sure if it's pronounced the same but I think so... my middle name is "Ginette"... it's a french name, and also my mom's.
Alright, so let's say someone wanted to name their child a more common name and wanted to spell it the normal way. Who decides what the normal is?
Like the name Caitlyn, Caitlin, Katelyn, Katelin, etc - that name is very common but I can't say there is a "normal" way of spelling it. Every Katelyn/whatever I know spells it differently! I think this occurs with many names.
I think when I think "normal" I think traditional, so Caitlin, is the most traditional of the variants you mentioned.
In the example of your middle name you spoke of, clearly the normal spelling is Janette, and subbing in the 'y' for the 'a' is an attempt to individualize it, and will lead to it being misspelled/needing to be explained. Especially Considering the overuse of y's in current naming, is likely to be met with a few eye rolls.
Like PPs have said, there's a big difference between choosing a flat-out uncommon or unusual name, and trying to make a common name unusual with a weird spelling. Taking a common name and inventing a spelling for it that looks like you just chucked a bunch of extra letters at it and kept whatever stuck does not make a name cooler, it just saddles your child with the exasperating task of telling people for the rest of their life, "It's Jayyne, with two Ys, both rhetorical."
If you want to be unique choose an uncommon name. I agree with the others that traditional names that are spelled differently just to be different are dumb.
I once knew a Krystyna and seriously I don't care how pretty it looks I doubt she grew up adoring her name.
A name is meant to be a means of identification. If you can't pronounce it or spell it then it fails on both counts.
@Ms Mini: well nobody usually has to spell their middle name so I see no big deal. Plus, like I said, it's phonetic.
To me there is a difference between a legitimately unusual name and a regular name that people are changing the spelling of just to be different. I realize this is a norm judgment, but honestly, the former I find interesting while the latter I find tacky. It makes the parents like they're trying too hard. Sorry. I know everyone hates the tacky word, but "Jynette" looks like someone illiterate was sounding out Jeanette. I am not trying to be harsh, but since you asked why we feel that way, I figured I'd be forthright.
I think most of the time you have to go out of your way to come up with an alternative spelling.
@miss-spunkin: Actually the phonetic spelling of Janette, is juh-NET.
@Ms Mini: But we're not pronouncing it Janette! It's like Gin-ette. Anyway, like someone said earlier, it's usually understanding to spell something different if it's a family name.
Anyhow, my hubby and I don't care what people think. We love the name and it's a special family name.
I just started this post to find out why it's a big deal because with my uncommon mis-spelled I love it and don't understand the hype!!
I get it, the way people feel about it, but I guess I have a different view because I grew up with an uncommon name/misspelled name and I love how it makes me different. Hopefully my kids will feel the same way.
All names were made up at some point and constantly evolve. Trends change. You don't see many 5-year-olds named Gertrude running around. If you truly like a name, go for it. It might seem strange to some people but so do many names from different heritages. I wouldn't not name my kid Sean because I though people might possibly proounce it "seen" or hold off on Siobhan because some teacher might pronounce is "see-oh-bahn" at some point. To each their own. /shrug
Britany, Brittany,Britaney, Brittny, Britney- I could go on and on... I don't see any of these as a unique spelling... just 'family' spellings. I agree with PP on what makes a name like this 'normal' or unique. They are all technically spelt like they sound.
@miss-spunkin: I agree I don't care what people think of my sons different name... I like it he likes it, no one else we know has it and it looks like what it sounds like... My sisters name is Jozell and that's usually spelt Giselle but she loves her name. I'm sure your child will love their name too.
It really just depends on the name, but I don't like when you change a bunch of letters in a common name to make it different... If it's an uncommon name to begin with, spell it the most recognizable way...
That said, I don't think I have a "different" name, but everyone else seems to think I do, and I have to constantly spell it out and repeat myself over and over... It gets really old. Don't get me wrong, I love my name, but I hate having to constantly correct people... It gets to the point sometimes where I don't even bother correcting them.
I'd hate for that to happen to my kids. I love uncommon names but I can assure you they will be the most common spellings!
@miss-spunkin: Changing the spelling of a name for the sake of phonetics is exactly why spelling a normal name in a weird way makes the parents look illiterate. Because that's the way illiterate people try to spell words--using phonetics!
My first name is Alexandra, but my parents decided that when it was short, it would be "Alix". Was it annoying when I was growing up and everyone spelled it wrong? Yes, kind of. That being said, I liked it when I was one of four Alexandras/Alexanders in my class, and I was the only one who could write only my first name and still have people know me.
Later, I changed my nickname because I got sick of everyone thinking I was a boy, and I chose another unique spelling: "Allee". I honestly chose it instead of "Ali" or "Ally" or any of the other normal permutations because I thought it looked cool when written in cursive. I LOVE my unique spelling and wouldn't have it any other way.
That being said, when I have kids, I'm not going to name my little girl Gehnnyphre instead of Jennifer or anything like that. I like small changes, but spellings that just make the name unrecognizable are ridiculous. Just go for a more unique name.
Wow - I can't believe people get so worked up over other people's names. If the individual isn't bothered with their name why should you be.
My name is Welsh and therefore very uncommon in North America (however, there is an australian Boards Bee with the same name ;-)). It is NOT phonetic, because it's from a different language, and therefore no one can pronounce nor can they spell it. And guess what... I LOVE IT!!!!!! And many others do too.
People call me all sorts of different things and I answer to all of them politely and only correct them if they care to know.
My name is becoming more popular in North America due to a Welsh celebrity naming her daughter the name. However, people are using a more phonetic spelling as opposed to the traditional spelling. Even though the traditional spelling is prettier.
Someone mentioned that names that can be mispronounced should not be used. In my opinion this just shows ignorance and selfishness. It's pretty self absorbed to not want to learn how to pronounce someones name. There are people all over the world that have names that north americans can not pronounce.
I also personally like unusual spellings of names. I think it adds to individuality of an individual. And I like associating the spelling with the individual in my mind.
While the my name is somewhat well known, I spell it extremely differently. To the point where people just pause and don't even try to pronounce it. While this can be frustrating from time to time, I actually LOVE the spelling of my name and would never even think twice about changing it. I think that unique spellings are refreshing.
My daughter's name, Mikaia, gets mispelled constantly. The only other Mikaia I know spells it Mikiyah or my friend also knows a Maciah. I spell my daughter's the way the baby name book does. It's a female version of Michael in Hebrew. We wanted to spell it the way it actually meant something. I do think there's a difference between a unique name people may have trouble spelling and purposely changing the spelling of an existing name.
@Future Mrs. Martin: I love your post! And it makes me REALLY curious about what your name is :)
Also, I agree! What a better way to show you care about people, learn their name! And that's a great point, we have sooo many cultures and countries represented in the USA, we should be more accepting of the different names/sounds/spellings, etc.
I knew people got worked up about names, but I do think it's silly that people get so frustrated when it's not even their kid or a kid they know. Obviously the parent had a reason for it.
Like, my husband and I are obsessed with the letter "y" I think it is elegant and beautiful and unique. And any name I like, I see if it can have a y. One of our favorite names is Zoey and I think it looks a lot better with the y.
Obviously, we're in the minority, but I don't care.
I'm not a big fan of spelling common names differently, like spelling Summer Summah. I love unique names, but I like them went they are spelt in a way that when you read it you can say it without thinking 'WTF' and saying it wrong. But that's just my opinion and considerations I took into account when we were thinking of names when I was pregnant.
I friend of mine just had a baby and she named him Kaos (as in Chaos)... I think that was the only name which I thought was strange and actually had an opinion on, but generally other people's names aren't even on my radar haha.
@Miss Pinup: A friend of mine has a son named Talon... and his full initials spell TRAP and that was on purpose. I think that's the only one that's caused me to scratch my head. Kaos is a strange one too.
When someone gives their kid a common name with an uncommon spelling it annoys the crap out of me because it just looks like a misspelling to me. I get that people want to be unique and cute but I don't understand why they don't just give the kid a made up name if they're so concerned with being different. People just make up the most ridiculous names nowadays so it's becoming the norm. I am really jaded, though, 'cause I work for Welfare and see godawful ridiculous names day in and day out.
@Ms Mini: LOL! My FMIL is a NICU nurse and we regularly chat about the awful names people give to their children. She told me a story once about twins...Orangejello and Lemonjello. Spelled just like that but pronounced Oh-ranj-uh-low and La-monj-uh-low. And the woman was offended when she didn't know how to pronounce them.
@assilem: OMG lol. They're going to get called "orange jello" for the rest of their lives!
I'm a teacher and when there are kids whose names are normal names but spelled differently, the kids pronounce the name phonetically to kind of poke fun at it.
Lemonjello and Orangejello is an urban legend, folks...seems to crop up in every name thread on every forum...
I agree that spelling a common name in a "unique" way makes the parents look trashy/illiterate.
@ThingsThatShine: I know, I've heard it before too. But there are names like that out there. Maybe not those exact ones, but bizarre to the same level I'm sure.
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