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Uncooperative/MIA Bridesmaids ...

posted 3 months ago in Bridesmaids
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    neenbean15    June 9, 2012   New York, NY

    I'm sure this has been discussed on here ...

    But I'm looking for some insight on how to deal with uncooperative bridesmaids. I asked a group of eight girls, consisting of best friends and relatives to be in our wedding. So far, it has been a far less than pleasant and overall disappointing  experience to get absolutely anything out of them.

    Now before anyone gets the idea that I'm a bridezilla over here, I'm talking basic stuff. I sent out an email back in the fall with some details about their dresses, etc. ... no one responded. My sister (the MOH) reached out to the girls asking only for some ideas for a bachlorette party/shower ... no one responded. I sent out another email last week to make sure everyone had ordered her dress by this point ... no one responded. I sent out yet another message two days ago to all of the girls asking again if everyone had ordered her dress ... no answers.

    At this point, I've given up the idea that this was going to be a really fun process with input from the girls I considered closest to me. Now I'm just expecting the basics from them and I can't even get that. I completely understand that everyone has her own life and just because I'm engaged doesn't mean they are only going to be focused on my wedding now - but come on! I think I should be able to get a little support from them.

    Has anyone dealt with anything like this? Any tactic suggestions? Am I being unrealistic?

     
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    asianyoushi    June 16, 2012   oregon

    not being unrealist. try seeing them in person or call them. couple are like that in my wedding party . its annoying.. i dont know what else to say but good luck and hope they come around.  facebook messages?

     
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    bells    June 26, 2011  

    Some people arent good with group emails. Just call them individually.

     
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    futuremrsfitz18    September 9, 2012   Boston, MA

    Call them individually, and give them the VERY last date they can order their dress.

    Stay out of shower/bachelorette stuff.  Those parties are gifts to you, not requirements, so if people cannot afford to contribute to them or don't care to help plan them, that's just how it is.

     
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    Juliepants    June 2, 2012   Ontario

    That sucks.  Are you 100% sure they're getting the emails?  It sounds like all of the communication has been via email.  Could you/your sister phone them instead?

     
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    neenbean15    June 9, 2012   New York, NY

    I'm sorry, I didn't indicate that clearly - it hasn't all been through emails, there have been phonecalls and texts as well - all of which I know they have been receiving. My group of friends regularly communicates through group emails, however, so I don't see why this should be any different.

    It's just especially frustrating b/c one of these girls JUST got married, and I was so glad to go all out for helping her plan so you think she would have some idea of how important it is to be able to communicate with your wedding party. I'm sorry, this is just turning into me venting due to frustration, haha. Thanks for your suggestions though, everyone.

     
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    neenbean15    June 9, 2012   New York, NY

    @FutureMrsFitz ... thanks, that's a good idea to give a final date. I had tried that back in the fall, asking to please order by the end of January, but a specific date is probably better ...

    @asianyoushi ... Maybe since nothing else works I should try fb messages, I hadn't thought of that, thanks

     

     
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    Bichon Frise    June 2012   NC

    That sounds very frustrating. I don't have much advice for you, as it seems you are trying to communicate with them. Hopefully, as the wedding gets closer, they will get on top of the things that need to be done.

     

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