(Closed) Unemployed bride …. so stressed and upset

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I am sending you lot’s of hugs coming your way. I understand that it might be tough and I am sorry for the situation you’re in.

I would suggest that you check what you are entitled to in regards of your unemployment, also check if you can find any job at all in the meantime. I think it’s easier to find another job while in another position (at least where it is for me). 

Also, try to cut down on whatever you can. Talk to your FI on how to handle this the best way. You have 373 days to go, you can still arrange this with smarts. Good luck!

Post # 4
Hostess
2556 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m sorry that you’re going through this!  I would check that status of your unemploment claim  – I know PA can be slow in processing them, but usually they let you know right around this point.  So, check on it.  It’s very likely there haven’t contacted you in error?  If you get denied, fight it.  You’ll have to go longer without cash, but if you win the appeal, you will get back pay.

Also, you’re not useless and this isn’t your fault!  You said yourself you were pushed into the position.  Please don’t beat yourself up.  I know it’s hard not to, and it’s hard not to be discouraged but keep your chin up.  You have a loving and supportive family and FI who are there for you.

Post # 5
Member
503 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

it always takes a while to find a job, it takes a long while for government to do anything lol.

your wedding is far away, you will be just fine, its great that you have support to rely on for now. because you were pushed into the higher position, though not ready, it means they thought you have potential, which you do, and it will blossom when you’re a little more ready but you were good at your original position so youre not good for nothing

everything will work out, breathe

Post # 6
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

So sorry too hear. hope things improve for you… shame on your work!!

i get married next month and my work hasnt paid me in 4 months now… complete nitemare… thankfully my fi has been able to scrape together wedding money for the essentials but wee extras that i wudda loved have been left out… because… well they arent essentials… but its best not to let it ruin ur day or planning.

hope something comes up for you soon xx

Post # 7
Member
17 posts
Newbee

((huggs)) im sorry your goin through this… finding work is difficult. i left my job to be with my SO and it has taken me much longer then expected to find work…. all i can say is, sit down with your hubby to be, talk about how much money he has coming in, how much his bills are, how much yours are and plan accordingly…. i hate to say this, but id stop worrying so much about the wedding at this point….. you have some of the more exspensive items already taken care of, and your wedding is a little ways away. 

 

 

i would suggest, take a day, and try not to worry. do some yoga, take the dog on a long hike, eat some icecream, and make your hubbys favorite dish, (he is just as stressed as you are) and try to remember this could be a lesson for you to learn… maybe next time, if you know you are not ready for a position, absolutely refuse to take it….. maybe this lesson is to prepare you for when you get pregnant and have no income for a while to be home with the baby….. who knows… but stay positive, try not to freak yourself out becuase when your mind is going a million times an hour, your going to overlook those jobs, or miss those opportunities that are quietly presenting themselves to you…. 

 

stay positive….. ill keep you in my prayers…… 

Post # 8
Member
16 posts
Newbee

Hi! I’m a follow Pittsburgher and wanted to let you know it’ll all be ok…Trust me!! I feel your pain. I had deposits on a dress (now discontinued), had a caterer, venue, the works (just not deposits on everything). I lost my job (got fired for being sick in the 90 day probation when I worked at a bakery) and then my fiance lost his job shortly after.  We both got denied for unemployment so we actually sold our second vehicle just to pay bills til we got back on our feet. I felt the same as you did, Worthless, shouldn’t have called off, etc. I guilt tripped myself for WEEKS until I got over it. Because I didn’t do anything wrong. I got sick and they fired me. I now work at a decent job and that isn’t in retail either. We have pushed back our wedding now (our original date was Oct of this year).

 

A job hint for you is – I work at a cable call center now. Stressful but it pays the bills. they have a high turnover rate b/c people don’t like the stress and quit or find other jobs, but it definately is something you could look into temporarily til you find something you love again. I’m only doing it while I’m in school/planning our wedding/getting married then going to move onto a job I love.

Post # 9
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Stace126:  I’m really sorry that you’re going through this.

I also was an unemployed bride/planner.  I had to quit my job due to extreme stress/anxiety.  So, it was my choice (on the advice of my doctor), but still really REALLY sucked.  I felt completely useless because I wasn’t “strong enough” to push through the stress.  I was kind of in the same position in that I took a job that was already a stretch for me and they ended up piling on lots of extra responsibilities.  It felt like a 24/7 job (people emailing me with emergencies at 2am on a Saturday, for example).  I wasn’t able to turn off at all.  Add to that a 2 hour one way commute and you have a stressed out, panic-crazed person who couldn’t sleep and ended up getting really sick.  I felt like a total failure.

Here are some things that helped me:

-Take control back where you can.  Call the government and find out the status of your application.  Are there free classes at a community centre for yoga, etc for stress relief?  Try and get out of the house every day to go for a walk/run whatever.  Plan to apply for a certain amount of jobs/day.  Join online networking sites and talk to friends…ironically, I was in HR, so I can’t stress enough that a lot of jobs aren’t posted..

-Take something on that you didn’t have time to do before.  Train for a marathon, read a bunch of books…whatever you’ve been putting off.

Your job/career isn’t you.  There are going to be good days and bad days.  You also need to be both realistic and gentle with yourself.  Yup, this is a blow.  It sucks.  BUT, you’ve got some great stuff going for you.  You’ve got a FI who loves you and wants to help and family that cares and wants to help.  You’re lucky in that way.  Take the help.  You’d do it for them.  

Post # 10
Member
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I feel your pain.I was making 80 grand a year,was laid and ended up making 1900 a month on unemployment.my unemployment ran out ara few months ago.I put an add on Craigslist offering affordable daycare.I am making enough to help out with bills,etc.Dont be discouraged.Things will get better.

Post # 11
Member
4479 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Understand how you feel!  I’ve just started a freelancing career, and have earned around $2000 this whole YEAR.  I’m working, but it’ll be months before I get paid for my projects.  So understand the feeling of helplessness, and feeling like a child that can’t provide for yourself.  Earning nothing’s a crap feeling.

 

It’ll be ok.  Everyone has their financial low points.  You’re not alone. In this economy, you’ve got a lot of company.  Sometimes crap things have to happen to open up better doors for us.  As for your wedding, the wedding is about marrying the person we love.  It’ll be alright, sweetie!  Sending you hugs!

Post # 12
Member
11753 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

My FI just got a job 6 months ago after being unemployed for 15 months. So, I feel where you are coming from.  You’ve got to stay positive though, I know it sucks completely but eventually ou will find another job! Apply to anything and everything you are qualified for – even if you aren’t going to love it, you can at least be bringing in $$ while looking for other jobs.  My FI was about to go down and work at McDonald’s if he had to.  Your wedding is a year away, you will find something before then!!

Sending you lots of support – you’ll get through this!!!

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