Unemployed husband

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
42510 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@sherryberry:  I suggest you sit down together, discuss the situation and agree on the expectations of what he will do with his time.

I know his primary activity needs to be looking for another job, but he certainly will have plenty of time to pitch in around the house while you are at work.

Post # 4
Member
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Sounds like he is just expecting you to do it and probably thinks that no matter what, ultimately you will clean up after him. It doesnt matter that he is unemployed; that is no excuse to lay around the house. On the contrary; he should be protecting his pride by at least being a source of help around the house while he is in between jobs.

Be firm and clear with him (in a nice way) and say that you understand that he must be feeling stressed out due to being without work, and that you plan to support him as much as you can; however, that this is no excuse to neglect chores around the house and worst of all, coming to bed late and waking you up. Your job is just as important as his and you need a full 8 hours of sleep.

Post # 6
Member
6073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@sherryberry:  Would you be doing the dishes and taking down the tree if he were employed?  Just curious!

 

 

 

Post # 7
Member
2519 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@sherryberry:  Just tell in the morning what you need done around the house. My FI is bad about doing stuff on his own ( I do the majority of the housework/cooking and we both work full time)

I would be very mad if I came home when he was home all day  to a sink full of dishes. Yes the situation sucks but fact of the matter is that he is home and can contribute more.

You don’t have to nag just a quick- hey honey can you walk the dog today? ( or whatever chore you need done) Before you leave,. if he still doesn’t help out I would then sit him down and talk to him

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