(Closed) Unemployed Husband?

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
2393 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

We’re kind of in the same situation.  Darling Husband has been un able to find work since getting out of the Army 6 months ago. 

I think the best thing we did for him was to find something to keep him busy during the day other than “housewife” chores (fyi…i call my Darling Husband House Hubs..we giggle about it).  He’s a real handyman, so he’s been building me nightstands, re-doing furniture, etc.  He’s also been taking online trading/investment classes.  Anything I can find that is productive for him to do, I send it his way.  While he may not be working for money, he’s definitely working his tail off at home.  Between following the market, looking for jobs, and being a handyman (which he loves), he’s a busy bee!

One thing I do is to never ever mention I’m stressed about the money situation because that stresses him out even more.  I try not to cringe when he wants to spend some much needed mula on a tool he wants because I know the guy depending on me for money right now isn’t easy. 

I do understand your situation and it’s not easy!  I know it’s hard on my DH’s ego/pride to be unemployed, but I keep reminding him our marriage is a partnership.  I support him when he’s out of work just like one day he’ll support me when I’m a Stay-At-Home Mom…it all evens out for us!

Post # 5
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

aw thats sad, just stay upbeat

just keep positive

I was the same moved to the UK after getting hitched and gave up a lucrative position; moved back to the US now my hubby doesnt work til he gets his visa; it’s just a give and take situation; just stay positive and supportive, everything in its own time

just tell him to think of time off as vacation and enjoy it while it lasts; thats what my hubby would say to me made me relax more and just enjoy the time off


Post # 6
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m in your husband’s position and I know the best thing Darling Husband has done for is to just be supportive and positive. It’s such a difficult place to be in and it can really do a number on your self esteem. Darling Husband reminds me all the time that this is a partnership and we’re a team, which is nice to hear ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
2393 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@DanielleZara:  I like what you said about “enjoy it while you can.”  I’ve brought this up to my Darling Husband before.  How many times in his life will he be able to wake up everyday and know he can spend the whole day working on his hobbies?  Thankfully his hobbies result in building me lots of new furniture pieces. lol 

I will say, one blessing from his unemployment has been an amazing crackdown on finances.  Before, we thought we could barely get by on two incomes.  Yet, since he hasn’t been working, we’ve been just find on one income, which motivates us to how much we can save/pay down debt when we have 2 incomes again!

Post # 10
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I quit my job due to health reasons a while ago. At first I had a really hard time with it. I didn’t know who I was without going to school or working, b/c that’s what I have always done. And I felt like I was useless b/c in my job I’m always helping people, and felt bad not doing that anymore. My husband really helped me by letting me know that he doesn’t love me for my work and what I do, but just for me.

Post # 11
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

My husband hasn’t worked in a year(we’ve been married 4 months) because of a knee surgery recovery. However, he receives a little veterans money from the airforce each month(over $600) I do enjoy the extra time with him as well. My husband doesn’t really do chores, and I don’t blame him(hes a typical messy guy). He mostly sits around and plays videogames. He invests his money in the stock market(I’m talking making thousands and thousands of dollars) and was able to save up a lot more money than me and is getting ready to buy a house to rentout to people as a landlord(a cheap one with no downpayment). He should return to work soon. He also works out a lot. We’re also thinking of buying a house right now to live in while the prices are low..he gets a free downpayment with the VA.

He is a class and half from graduating college, but he isn’t motivated to finish(he failed a class after the surgery since the guy was mad he missed classes for it, etc). He makes only about half of what I make annually. We are considering that when I eventually have a baby that instead of putting the infant in daycare, that he would be a stay at home dad, or a part-time stay at home day(like 3 days a week or so), to cut costs of daycare. I can’t be the one to do it since I am the bread winner. I’m a teacher By The Way, but I make one of the highest incomes for a teacher in the country. Anyways, good luck.


I basically support us both off of my income! It works for now. Money might be tighter next year due to 5 furlough days(loss of over 6000$), but he should return to work so it will make up for it. I try to boost his self-esteem when he feels down. 
 Little things help, such as giving him the cash to pay for both of us when we go out to places, makes him feel manly:) 


Post # 12
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Sorry.  I went through this too.  I was unemployed for 14 months.  ๐Ÿ™  It helps to keep busy doing things you enjoy-so I hope that will help him too.  This too shall pass.  Also, remind him how high unemployment rates are-so many of us are going through this.  Luckily I just got a job 3 weeks ago, just before my unemployment insurance ran out.  It had been extended a couple of times.

Post # 13
903 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Oh man, this is familiar…

My husband lost his job back in September. He’s back in school now (though still unemployed, so finances are tight), but last fall he had a rough time, feeling useless because he wasn’t working. I tried to support him through it by making sure he knew that I didn’t resent being the primary income provider at that point and encouraging him to take that time to explore things and figure out what he wanted to do long-term.

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