Weddingbee boards

I have been following Weddingbee for the past year, and I started to get involved in the board just recently.  I know that the hive is full of the most understanding people out there, and I figured it is okay to let off some steam on here.  This might be a tad long...

I graduated from college last year in May 2008 with a Bachelor's Degree in Business Administration (concentration in Management) and a minor in History.  For a good 6 months I was on the look out for a job.  At first I only looked at positions in HR (what I was interested in at the time), and after a month I got desperate and looked for any jobs that I was qualified for.  I had a good amount of interviews, and I also had rejections that followed each one.  What was I doing wrong?  I couldn't even get jobs that people normally get with no college eductaion.  It didn't make sense to me.

My breaking point happened while attending a job fair.  I waited 2 hours in line to see a professional and get my resume reviewed.  I noticed that it took 10-15 minutes for each person to get critiqued. By the time it was my turn I was ready for the worst.  I wanted her to tear up my resume.  I spent no more than 5 minutes with her, and she said that my resume looked great.  I only had to make some minor adjustments (ex. use numbers instead of writing them out), and she noted that my experience was solid.  I broke down.  I wanted her to tell me that it was horrible, and then I could blame the resume for everything.

I did find a small office job in a law firm that only lasted three weeks.  The position had a high turnover rate.  The person who trained me had worked there for a week.  It wasn't a pretty job, but I made it work for me.  It made me feel miserable though, and I couldn't waste my talent in a position that would get me no where.  It did give me the boost of confidence to go out and find a better job.  

Unfortunately I have been hit so many times with disappointment since then that I just gave up.  I am mentally beat up from this process, and I don't want to try anymore.  Opportunities have come my way and fallen through each time. Each rejection has ripped my heart into pieces, and I just can't take it anymore.  I lost hope, confidence, faith, and myself through this process.  I am tired of people telling me what I am doing wrong. I looked in every direction that they told me to.  I applied for the jobs that they suggest, and they don't understand how gruelsome it is out there.  It is difficult to understand how this process of unemployment can mentally and emotionally affect someone unless you have gone through it yourself.  I never thought it would be this difficult and hurt this much. 

So here I am today.  I have been engaged for over a year.  I don't have any direction.  I'm afraid that this wedding will never happen because we cannot afford it on just my FI's income.  I want to get back the confidence that I had when I first started looking for jobs.  I want to get back up, but I'm afraid that I have dug myself down too deep. 

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

Oh goodness, Yin! I'm so sorry. I see that you're in Deleware - are you close to the regional rail to get yourself up to Philadelphia, or is that too far of a commute for you? As for the position you're looking for in HR, is there a specific part of HR you wanted to be involved in? We have a few jobs open where I am here in Philadelphia. PM me and maybe I can help you get your resume in? If you're not close to Philly, then I can still see if there are any openings in our Delaware office. Let me know what you think!

Thanks everyone for your kind words and support!

@mlkeysock: Thanks!  I just sent you a message.

@mrbee: Almost all of my rejections are through emails, and I feel odd calling them for feedback.  Sometimes I know what I did wrong (in one case not money hungry enough to be an insurance salesperson), and other times I'm left confused.  I did get feedback from one of my interviews, and it was positive.  Unfortunately the company had a hiring freeze, and there wasn't much they could do for me at the time.

@NovaScotiaBride: The stress is definitely unbearable.  It is hard to keep your head up high when it's just one rejection after another.  The positive part is that you're not alone, and there are others in similar situations to our own.  It's also okay to have a meltdown.  We all need to break down every now and then to keep sane.

@JoesWifey: I'm hoping it doesn't last forever.  It's just disappointing to see more and more companies laying off workers. Other people have told me that I am "over" qualified.  It sucks.. why did I get the degree in the first place?

@Mrs.Spring: Thanks for your view.  It is tough to be applying for jobs when there is such a large pool of candidates all competing for the same position.  I'm glad that your temp position worked out for you.  I have applied for temp positions, but I didn't have much luck with them at the time.

@tessabella76: I hope it does get better for us.

I really feel for you... my dad was unemployed for 2 years, and now he's in a job that he still has no official hire or contract for (they took him on for a 60 day contract-to-hire, because he goes to church with his supervisor, and when 60 days were up they were in a hiring freeze...) and he's making half what he should for a man in his age and position (mid 50s, 30 years job experience, two kids still at home). Right now my husband and I are both underemployed -- I was a History major, Music minor, now working as a long-term temp at a mortgage company, and he's a Philosophy major who wants his PhD but is now doing 3rd shift security at our alma mater.

You're not doing anything wrong, don't worry. This is just a crappy time to be job-hunting. I mean, even high school and college students are having a hard time getting summer jobs because SAHMs are taking things like cashier or waitressing jobs. I definitely have to recommend temping.. especially with a business degree in a specialized field like HR, you'll be sure to land something, and probably in your field. Most temp agencies have a division that specializes in either long-term or temp-to-hire, tell them you are interested in that. Maybe you'll land something lame that you'll work for 6-9 months, but that's 6-9 months with a paycheck coming in that gives you job experience and more time to keep looking for a full-time position you'll really love.

Good luck to you and all of us! I'm praying this stupid economy gets better soon.

Edit: Just read what you posted while I was typing the above -- you said you tried some temp stuff that didn't work out. Was it a situation where the company advertised for a temp and you applied directly to them? I'd really recommend going to an agency that does all the work of matching companies and employees themselves. You get accepted with them, and they market your resume for you. I've worked with OfficeTeam in the past, and right now I'm with TempStaff, which is local to Jackson but has ties to many other temp agencies. TempStaff is REALLY supportive and wonderful, if you're interested contact them and ask who they work with in your area.

Hey Yin,

Hang in there and I agree with the other recommendations to look into temping.  I did that a few years back at a University and liked the position and ended up being hired into the job and I stayed there until I went back to school.  It worked out really well.

You WILL end up finding something and this is very, very difficult.  Just keep sending your info out there and do your best.  THat's all you have control over in this situation.  And, when you have free time, try and find a volunteer position you really like.  It will give you something to direct some of your energy towards and also some additional experience. 

Good luck and don't lose faith.  Also read "Bitter is the New black".  It is totally snarky but a timely read. 

Again, thanks everyone for your support and great advice.  I am trying to slowly get myself back up from this slump.  No matter how much it hurts, I have to pull through and hang in there.