Post # 1
My mom asked to see our tentaive guest list today and flipped out about how many people are being invited on Fiance side of the family. We are having a Destination Wedding and we are inviting limited people, but the only problem is Fiance family is HUGE. There is no getting around it lol
His mom has 4 brothers and 3 sisters and his dad has 3 brothers and 2 sisters. So thats a lot of people we HAVE to invite. My mom has 1 sister and my dad has 2 sisters, so there is a big gap.
So, my mom is finding all these people (long, lost relatives) that she thinks we should invite now. Ugh I am just so frustrated about this. I cant be the only one who has gone through this.
Can I get some help from the hive???
Post # 3
I would just explain to her that you think the most fair way to allocate invites is in regards to relationship rather than number. So, ALL aunts/uncles, ALL cousins (if applicable), no one more distant than that. Then if there are going to be friends or whatever maybe you get an equal number of “discretionary” invites after the family that absolutely must be invited?
Post # 4
I don’t understand WHY parents get like this… I mean ya’ll really get the “same” people invited…
1st Aunts and Uncles on both sides!
My Fiance and I are the same…. only he has EVEN MORE (like 16 w/o spouses) and from both sides of my family I have 2 Uncles (lol)
We ultimately cut to immediate family only b/c Fiance and I (who are paying) couldn’t accomodate that many…. BUT even before that my parents were fine.
Are you parents paying for the wedding? or are you and your SO?
I say you need to suck it up, put your foot down, and tell your mom that if she wants to invited 2nd, 3rd, 4th Aunts, Uncles, and cousins then ya’ll gotta do the same on the other side.
If she’s paying the tab then she can have ALL that she wants.. if not then ya’ll are sticking to 1st’s and that that!
Post # 5
Yeah, thats a good idea about the leftover invites. Once she gets something in her mind, she is so darn difficult.
Post # 6
@runsyellowlites: Fiance and I are paying for some of it, but my parents are paying for most of it. So I guess technically they should be able to invite whomever they want, but ugh, just so annoying lol
I mean, they had their wedding! 😀 I swear Im not an evil bish
Post # 7
I agree with your mom, I think the guest lists should be more or less even. Donno who is paying but if she is helping out then she should be able to invite as many as your Fiance does. If you are paying than you do whatever you want. If I was paying for a wedding and the majority of the guests were not mine, I would be mad too.
Post # 8
Oh I understand
We got help from all sides, but I think parents should let their children delegate their own weddings.
My mom is pro-elopement b/c she thinks it’s CRAZY how parents get all “butt hurt” about not getting what/who they want…
sorry you’re dealing with this… it WILL soon be over… and you and your FH can get to the real deal lol