(Closed) Uneven Parties – Thoughts?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think you should only have people that mean something to you beside you so I wouldn’t push him to find a fourth.  I had one, my brother, and he had two, his brother and his best friend.  I didn’t want to add someone to my side to even it out because I felt like it would take away the honor I had given my brother.  

Post # 4
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We had uneven party. Darling Husband had three friends he wanted to stand with him and I had 2. I didn’t want anybody up there just for decoration.

Post # 5
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I had 4 and Darling Husband had 3. I didn’t want to make him ask someone he didn’t feel strongly about. The only time we really had to worry about pairing them up was the recessional and the grand entrance. I think you should both ask whoever is important to you regardless of whether the numbers add up.

Post # 6
1696 posts
Bumble bee

LOL — when I read “uneven parties” I leapt to the silly conclusion you were talking about inviting guests to a dinner party! I was raised with my mother’s rule that a proper dinner party always has the same number of gentleman guests as lady guests, hence leading to the “unattached male” as one of the most desirable of social acquaintances, since unattached females never seemed to be in short supply for creating the UNbalance problems.

Since the 1960’s I’ve been trotting out my feminist sensibilities to rebel against the arbitrary dictates of an obsolete etiquette rule that says you should evaluate the desirability of a guest based on his or her sex. But childhood programming runs deep, and I still angst over it any time I invite a homosexual couple to dinner — do I need to invite two additional guests of the opposite sex to “balance” the table, and do I follow the male-female alternation rule around the table, or just seat people according to their compatibility. Such are the struggles we all eventually come to in our lives, where aesthetic and ethical principles clash. May all our quandaries be as trivial as mine are.

It seems to me that if balancing a table is too shallow, silly a consideration for an everyday social obligation like inviting people to dinner; then it is even MORE silly to worry about it when you are asking people to do something as special and intimate as standing up for you at your wedding. You should each ask the people who are closest and dearest, even if you happen to have different numbers of closest-and-dearest.

Post # 7
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I love uneven parties!  We would have had uneven ones, but Fiance became close with a co-worker and he’s been such a good friend to both of us, we couldn’t NOT ask him.  I think they’re neat and who cares if it looks uneven.  They’re people who mean the most to you.

Post # 8
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

i think its perfectly fine! you can have the Best Man stand at the alter with the groom and pair up the rest of them IF you wanted them to walk down together. Also instead of doing your normal line your wedding pary up for pics you can do something like this – this is from my wedding but i love the casualness of these pictures, plus they didnt need to be paired up.



Post # 9
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

We had an uneven party. I had 4, and Darling Husband had 3. Worked out just fine- we also didn’t want to add a 4th just for the sake of even numbers. One groomsmen walked with two girls (he looked like such a ladies man) and the pictures weren’t coupled up and turned out great.

Post # 10
1062 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Right now I have 6 and my FH has 7, I dont want to add someone who doesnt mean something to me so I was thinking how would they walk down the aisle? 2 guys walk with 1 girl at the end of the line or what?!

Post # 12
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I just had the opposite situation…nobody said anything to me about it. As long as your are comfortable with it, that’s all that matters.

Post # 16
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Although my wedding is a year away, I will have an uneven party: 5 Bridesmaid or Best Man (including junior BM) to 6 Groomsmen (including junior GM). Two are friends for me and I don’t feel particularly close to another person enough to ask to be in my wedding and I’m satisified with that. I think what I’ll end up doing is having the girls walk alone and the guys up in front since my cermony place has too small of an aisle to have three people walk down the aisle together.

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