Post # 1
Hey bees! This might be a weird question to ask, but I can’t think of anywhere else better asking than here! Does any of you have an uneven ratio of family attending the wedding, and did you feel weird about it? My side of the family mostly live in different countries, and my parents aren’t very social so they don’t seem to be close to anyone in states (we moved to USA about 20 years ago).
My mom gave me a list of relatives to invite (less than 10), and my dad doesn’t want to invite anyone from his side :(. Anyway, so now we think my side of the family will have about one table, and probably 12 for his side. (Groom’s side of the family are all living in the same area, within 1 hour from each other). I kept asking my parents if they want to invite any friends or distance relatives, and my mom kept saying “They aren’t going to come, it’s too far” or “they don’t like this type of wedding, because it’s too western for them”. Does any bees here have encountered this type of answers from parents? It seems like my parents don’t want anyone to come at all (or very vague about it)
We currently have spaces open and Fi wants me to invite my side of the family because he doesn’t think it’s fair if the wedding only has his family. I still want to extend the invitation to the relatives, even if they can’t come, so they know that I’m thinking of them. I also think that this may be the only time I can get everyone together.
However, my mom already decided for me that they aren’t going to come, without talking or asking them. I’m a little sad she’d think this way, but I’m not going to do things the other way if that’s what they wish to do.
Post # 3
@katkat123: Why doesn’t your dad want to invite anyone from his side? No offense, but it’s your day. You should be able to invite them. Go ahead and invite family from out of the country. You never know, some might surprise you and come 🙂 I think your parents are being ridiculous.
Post # 4
I think you need to invite them. even if they say no- at least they know they were included
Post # 5
I would personally send out the invites as they have to make the decisions themselves not your parents opinions of whether they can make it or not.
Post # 6
Etiquette Snob here… lol
he Old Saying goes… “He WHO PAYS… GETS THE SAY”
If you & your Finacé are Hosting this Wedding, then you can certainly decide WHO to Invite.
Proper etiquette would say you invite Relatives that you think might not come… just to let them know you are thinking of them.
It is not up to you to pre-decide if they can or cannot… that is up to them to choose.
So your Mother is off-base.
Not sure what is up with your Dad.
Beyond all that…
Ya sometimes when one side lives farther away than the other’s, numbers can be very much lob-sided.
When I got married the first time (circa 1980)
It was in my hometown where I grew up, and my Parents & many Relatives continued to live
My Groom was from out of State / Province… his family right across the country.
Needless to say hardly anyone came for our Wedding (just immediate family)
BUT we did the right thing… and did send out Invites to Every.single.Aunt.and.Uncle
In the end, we utilized a B-List to round out / round up the numbers with more Friends etc, and it was great.
Hope this helps,
PS… I have to ask, based on your post it “feels like” your Parent’s aren’t all that excited / jazzed for your Wedding… almost as if they are drawing a line between US and THEM when it comes to your Inlaws. Is this true… or is it just a case of your Parents not being very social (as you said) so they don’t see why anyone else would be / should be.
Post # 7
About 3 times as many of my FI’s family will be attending than mine. I see nothing wrong with it, if they can come, great! If not, that’s ok too!
Post # 8
my wedding invites will include possibly 10 family members from my side and about 60 from hers and the rest friends from college/hs/work.
her family is huge with lots of cousins, while mine is just aunts/siblings/parents/grandparents. For me, this is going to be a sore point, not because I want a lot of people on “my side” but I don’t want all of her family invited because some of them didn’t support our relationship in the beginning (we’re interracial-they didn’t hate me, but some of her family wanted her to find someone from her own culture.) and some of her friends that she is inviting have changed so much that they’re not as good of friends as they once were. So in my mind, I’m like why even invite them.