Post # 1
I know there are probably a 1,000 posts like this already, but here’s mine…
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a couple of years now, and this past summer, we decided to move in together. When we discussed moving in together, we agreed that getting engaged a couple of years later would be reasonable. But then suddenly…
After a couple of months of living together, I was overcome with that “this is the one” feeling, and I started bringing up the topic of marriage a little more frequently. He agreed that he’d be ready sooner than he expected as well, and we began discussing rings and other logistics. He said he wasn’t quite ready to pop the question quite yet, but that he would definitely do it within the next 12 months.
I know all of this sounds just fabulous. I want to get engaged, he wants to get engaged, he’s making sure I get a ring I like, AND I know it’s going to happen soon.
BUT… now that I know it’s getting close, I’m dying for it to just happen already. The last thing I want is for him to feel pressured, and do it before he’s 100% ready, but I’m going crazy. I’m doing everything I can to stay sane (talking to best friend, looking at ring porn, trying to remind myself that I’ll NEVER be single again [idealy] and I should enjoy it), but I feel like I’m about to burst on some days.
I never thought I’d be “ring hungry,” but I guess I’m just anxious for him to “lock it down” already. I know this is a common feeling amoungst soon-to-be-engaged women, so…
How do/did you cope when you were getting axious for the big moment?
Post # 3
Haha I think we all went crazy and spent hours on weddingbee drooling over everyone else’s rings and weddings and proposals 🙂
It sounds like you’ve voiced your opinions, and he’s voiced his. Try not to obsess (I know, easier said than done, especially because it will seem like EVERYONE ELSE is getting engaged) but leave it alone. If he is planning something, you’ll only ruin it for both of you. If he isn’t planning something yet, you’ll probably offend him without even meaning to. Guys are surprisingly sensitive about these types of things.
Post # 4
@MerryWidow: Agreed! I really don’t bug him about it too much, because I don’t want him to feel pressured. I just secretly vent to a close friend (and Wedding Bee!). Thanks for the support!
ps – your ring is sooooooo pretty!!! Congrats!
Post # 5
@Jenny267: I’ve been there too…but the other day we went to look at rings and my SO actually bought one! In front of me! For me it’s all getting very real very fast, and I almost (ALMOST) miss the point before when it was all just talk.
Like you said, you’ll never be single again, so enjoy the time you have now and don’t worry too much about waiting today!
Post # 6
@Jenny267: try chatting with some of the bees over on the waiting board! they’re in the same boat as you, and will give you the best advice you could ask for. empathy and sanity are invaluable at this stage :p
Post # 7
@Jenny267: I waited and it drove me nuts! I never fully coped with it… Just try not to let it effect your future Fiance haha. At least you know it’s coming! Thats the great part!
Post # 8
@Jenny267: I think most of us had similar feelings, and Tom Petty sure as hell wasn’t kidding when he said “the waiting is the hardest part”… And it’s no easier making yourself stop talking about it, especially when its all you can think about.
Anyhow, how did I cope? I (sometimes secretly) started looking for different wedding ideas online, pricing venues in my area by doing some online research, looked at rings on MoissaniteCo’s website (even if you’d rather go diamond, there’s so many rings in one spot…). And, of course, I drooled over dresses and rings of others here on WB.
Now, after getting engaged (and only having 10 months to plan a wedding after he finally proposed), I felt way more prepared when wedding planning got real. I also had a solid idea on etiquette, prices, caterers, questions I wanted to ask, etc.
The biggest thing that helped: I kept repeating to myself that I needed to let him do it in his own time, because it would be that much more special. And it was. He showed up one day, when he was supposed to be 800 miles away, and it was perfect.
You’ll get your perfect engagement too!
Post # 9
To cope I did two things: 1) I frequented these boards, particularly the waiting board. I found it helpful for not feeling INSANE as I impatiently waited. 2) I pre-planned my wedding. Unfortunately my ENTIRE plan was thrown out the window the instant our parents’ found out about our engagement (I REALLY wanted a small, intimate wedding. Our parents disagree). But still, it was helpful to plan it out!
Good luck on the waiting. I promise all the waiting is worth it! 🙂
Post # 10
@miz fizzix: How romantic! Congratulations on what sounds like a perfect engagement 🙂 I’ve actually been very curious about Moissanite. Did you end up ordering from that site? I love the idea of getting a diamond alternative/look-a-like, but I haven’t been able to find Moissanite rings that aren’t huge. I know it sounds silly, but I really want a smaller ring.
It definitely helps to have so much support (even from complete strangers) on these boards. We actually looked at rings together online last night (!!!) but he said he’s not going to be actually buying one for a while (arg!). Anyway, it helps to know that he hasn’t forgotten 🙂
Post # 11
@Jenny267: He did actually end up getting my ring from MoissaniteCo, and I LOVE it! Fiance had a great time with their customer service, and my ring is still looking fabulous, even after 5 months of non-stop wearing. If you’re really curious about moissanite, try looking at this thread. It has a lot of input and pictures and might help you answer some of your questions. (My real ring is on there too, closer to the bottom.) The “Education” tab on the MC website is also really informative and has some pretty cool features.
Also, it is TOTALLY not silly to want a smaller or daintier ring! You should get what fits your personality and style! Just know that if you decide to go that route, you can get moissanite center stones that aren’t quite so ginormous, and MoissaniteCo sells loose stones as well. So, if you find a setting you really like somewhere else, you can order a loose stone and get a moissy set.
And…if you really want to have a fun girls day (though it might be slight self-torture), you can always take your best girl pal to the jewelery store with you to try things on, see what you like, see what looks good on your hand, etc. 🙂
Post # 12
@miz fizzix: Haha, I actually went to the mall this past weekend and tried on rings with my best friend (without telling our boyfriends of course). We even went into Tiffany’s and tried on a $50,000 ring (It’s really terrifying to have that much money on your finger). It was a little torturous, but it was also good to get a better idea of what I actually like – and then when my boyfriend asked what I liked, I actually knew what to tell him.
Thanks for the loose stone tip! That might just be what I end up doing!
Post # 13
@Jenny267: check out the waiting boards. Everyone there (myself included) is waiting on a proposal 😉
Post # 14
I got engaged in September and was in a very similar boat. I couldn’t wait to get engaged and we talked about it all the time but for him it was always in the future an I wanted it right then! Keep in mind that even if your SO was ready to pop the question, he might not tell you, and rings can take a while once they’re ordered. Try to breathe and be happy that you found someone to spend your life with. Take it from me, the engagement period flies by and the planning can get crazy so just enjoy this period with him. Plus if you give him the space to do it on his own he’ll be so proud of himself when he surprises you!