Post # 1
I’m a regular poster–and let me say this is not trolling for trouble, unfortunately.
My husband’s 17 year old nephew is going to jail for murder. The fact that he committed the crime is not being contested.
My husband wants to send our savings to his sister to contribute toward his nephew’s bail, and I DO NOT WANT TO. One, if he’s big enough to do the crime, he should be big enough to handle ALL the consequences, and second, it’s not like he stole a car, he killed somebody.
He says that because it’s family, it doesn’t matter what they do, you help. I think there are some circumstances where you just have to take a step back.
What would you do?
Post # 3
Um….maybe not all your savings?
Post # 4
I personally would not send money, especially if its part of your money. Maybe you need to remind him that its not all his money and you contributed to the savings as well. Just let him know you aren’t comfortable with the situation. Good luck!
Post # 5
I’d be in agreement with you. If it was being contested, or was some stupid thing that kids do that’s another story. But it sounds like he is owning up to doing it?
Post # 5
I don’t think that he should make a decision like that with all your savings without your consent. You two need savings and it’s not like his nephew is ever going to be able to repay the favor.
Post # 6
Yikes! That’s tough. On one hand it’s like, what’s the point of bail if he’s just going to jail anyway. On the other hand, I’m sure it would be nice for him to spend time with family before he goes away for a while.
Are they letting him post bail because he’s a minor? I thought with murder cases, there is no bail because of the flight risk.
I think you should sit down with your husband and explain that in the end, you will be throwing your savings away because he’s just going to go to prison. Or that you don’t feel comfortable with it because he might try to run once he gets out.
Post # 7
@nqz100: He is. I don’t want to give too many details, because the story is all over the news right now, but even if he didn’t claim responsibility, they found some ID at the scene.
Also, even if we sent all our savings, his family would still likely take out a loan. They don’t have much money, and bail is, understandably, very high.
Post # 8
@Miss Tattoo: As far as I understand it, it’s because he’s a minor, yes. We’re still getting spotty details because it’s all happening right now.
Post # 9
I agree with Miss Tattoo!
I mean, it’s not like you have tons of money sitting around (I assume). These are your savings for something special or an emergency. And I don’t think paying for a murderer to get out of jail constitues an emergency (my opinion).
I’m sorry your family is going through this.
Post # 10
Well, it’s a tough one. I’m not super close to my neices or nephews, or even cousins. But if I was, I would put my money into bail, I wouldn’t ask my FI to put anything in. I didn’t think it was actually called “Murder” anymore, I thought it was homicide or manslaughter etc. Do you know what happened?
Post # 11
wow. interesting question. I am sorry that you have to go through this. I know that it was hard to see my brother in jail. ( not for murder) My parents at first would hekp him get out but then he would go right back in. Finally my dad said that he would have to spent some time in there. ( 2 years maybe? I was young and didn’t know all the details) It seems that really showed my brother that he was doing wrong. He stopped breaking the law and seems to have gotten on the straight and narrow.
As for situation. I really don’t know. I can see both your husband’s point and yours. Though I think that I would not send the money. When people do bad things, they need to pay for what they did.
I hope my post helps. Stay strong. 🙂
Post # 12
@Belle2Be: murder isn’t used anymore? Thats interesting. Don’t they use murder in the first degree in courts still?
Post # 13
yeah i would seriously want to help my sibling out, but murder? and my savings? um no. perhaps a portion for a lawyer. I wouldn’t want him out on the streets, will he even GET bail ? Who says he won’t do it again while he’s out?
Post # 14
@HisIrishPrincess: I agree. Maybe you can help contribute to a lawyer, but not bail. Again, if he’s admitted to it, what’s the point in posting bail?
Post # 15
I wouldn’t send our money to bail out someone who committed murder. Why should they get to spend time with family when the person they killed had that option taken away from them? It isn’t like there is any question as to wether or not he did it.