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I am a bridesmaid in my BFF from college and beyond wedding in July. Our BM dresses arrived yesterday - they were shipped to each of us (4 BMs) because we are scattered around the country. And - it's awful. Really awful. The dress seems cheaply made (Mori Lee), the color is hideous (it's supposed to be bright pink - wasn't thrilled about that to start with - but hey it's her day; however the color is more an awful pink/purple that's indescrible), and it is not attractive on any of us. (We chatted last night and to a person no one is thrilled with the dress.)
We love our friend. She asked me if the dress was ugly and I didn't know what to say. I told her it was bright and that it wasn't flattering on me but that I'd have it worked on. But what we'd really like is to start over - and we're all willing to cough up another $200 for a dress that is nicer, more attractive and won't have people pointing at us and laughing.
What should we do?
Suck it up, it is your friends day and if she likes the dress than you wear the dress.
I'd just wear the dress. I'd rather do that than spend even more money on another dress anyway lol. It's just one day and then you can burn it if you want to.
@Sassygrn - I don't know that she will like the dress. I'm going to visit next weekend and I'll take it so she can see if person. She picked the dress out - no one tried it on because the store didn't have it. She picked the color based on a swatch and not a full dress. I'm just asking what to say if she asks in person what we think.....
I'll suck it up and wear it if she wants but she is a basket case over a million other things I'm afraid this may send her over the edge.
Unfortunately I think you need to suck it up and not stress the bride out over this. Did none of you try it on before hand?? If you didn't like it when you tried it on it would have been better to mention it then. But now that it's all said and done I think you're stuck with it. Sorry. :(
ETA: Sorry I posted at the same time that you did... I see that you were not able to try the dress on ahead of time. I have no good advice for you on this one other than you just have to deal with it....
though i agree with the other posters, if its THAT bad i would want to know - especially if ALL my BM's are saying how they dont like it. I mean if you are willing to fork up the additional cash i dont see how it could hurt,
did any of you guys try them on before buying?
I would just wear it and deal with it. Your friend is probably under enough stress planning the wedding and doesn't need one more thing to worry about. Plus, people are going to be paying attention to the bride, not pointing and laughing at her bridesmaids.
Hopefully when she sees it on you she'll feel the same way you all do. But if it turns out it's exactly what she had in mind, wear it and smile through the fashion agony.
If everyone think they are ugly that could actually be the source of some good laughs that day. I was in a wedding where we all ended up with the same HORRIBLE hair do, and we still laugh about it. I'd say take it and run with it! (Without insulting the bride, of course).
I agree with linguo...I would try the dress on and if she loves it, I would just suck it up and wear it. However, if it's not the look she was going for, definitely offer to try some different dresses on and cover the cost.
At least it's not this:
But I agree - we need a picture of this dress!
I am so sorry.
I suggest trying it on for her and when she asks you what you think of it, just let her know it is not your favorite, but for her you will wear it with a smile :-)
If all of you are willing to buy another dress, I would all go to a national chain like David's and try on some dresses. If you can find one that all of you agree on and are willing to spend money on in the color that the bride likes, then and only then would I approch the bride and tell her you aren't happy but have come up with an alternative. If I was the bride, I would be so mad that my BM were unhappy. But don't add one more thing to her plate. Find the solution first, then approach her with the problem already solved.
@napabridekelsey: am i insane, or is that dress sort of cute? :P
@jay0hwhy: It has a hot 80's club theme...I bet they swish :)
I've never felt comfortable in a bridesmaid gown...even the one that cost $425. The brides always thought we looked great, though. Send her a picture and let her decide.
You might have your first donation to Cinderella's Closet. :)
@Lizziemom: did you try them on before purchasing? Why do they look worse now than before?
Or did you not try them on, just went with the dress she picked? If so, do the dresses look like the photos the bride had seen?
@Lizziemom: has the bride seen anyone in the dress? maybe you could all take photos of yourself in the dress and email them to her...that way she can make the final decision. If she likes then I'm sorry to say you will just have to suck it up. But she may not realize how bad they look on each of you.
I disagree with the others. You friend needs to know if the dress looks bad on you guys. If you keep mum and she thinks the dresses are horrific in person, then you're all stuck with it on the wedding day. Her stomach will turn every time she looks through the wedding album. Nobody wants that.
I would have each of you send the bride pictures of you in your dresses. If she hates them, THEN offer to get other dresses, but only if she hates them.
I think you should be honest with her. I would have hated if my girls didn't like their dresses
Let's see a picture of these.
I agrea, try it on for her and if she likes it just put a smile on and wear it. If she hates it then tell her your solution to this problem.
Show us the dress!
The bride may not like them. She ordered it from a swatch so she may be disappointed as well. I agree with the PP that said for you to try it on, take a pic, email the pic to the bride and let her make a final decision. (Also post that pic for us!)
I agree with @Sweet Melissa: & @mshoagie: -- email her pictures of you in the dresses and let her make the call. I had my girls order a dress online that I thought was cute and I thought each of them could pull off (they had totally different body types). My MOH called me from her bathroom laughing saying that she'd wear it if I wanted her to, but she thought it looked pretty bad. The reaction was pretty much the same from my other bm. I believed them, but wanted to see for myself so had them both try them on for me and in the end I agreed- they were horrible! We had the dresses sent back and went on a shopping trip together to find something better.
Yes, pictures please!!!!!!
I also agree that when you visit, you should put the dress ON and show it to her. If she asks, be honest and truthful. BUT make SURE she knows you WILL wear it if she likes it. Not that I think you wouldn't, since you already said you would!!!
Personally, I'd want my girls to be comfortable in what they're wearing. After all, it's gonna be hard to smile in something you feel horrible in. ;)
You could always offer to go with her and try on every dress possible some time and help her out with choosing something, IF you think she really needs it. Just make sure she knows you're doing it because you love her and don't want her to go postal on anything with the words "wedding", "bride", or "dress" involved. ;)
Let's see the pics! I would hate for my bms to spend $200 on a dress they thought was awful!
in the comment box you see that little green square with a tiny circle in the lower right hand side? just click and upload!
It just takes me to a box that says upload by there's no way to do it....Is it because I'm using Safari?
@Lizziemom: See the little green icon on the bar with the yellow smiley above where you write your reply? Click it.
Click on the square at the tops of the typing box with a green circle and + in the corner
I would not tell her i didnt like it. Send her a pic of you in it and if she likes it then suck it up for the day. Thats part of being a BM, sometimes you have to buy and wear a dress you dont like.
Click on this: 
in the comment section below and then either upload your photo from your computer or link to it from another webpage. :)
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