Post # 1
It’s down to the wire…we have less than a week left before our venue needs their final head count. Despite my initial annoyance with having to chase down rsvp’s I brokedown and did it. I called and left messages, emailed, facebooked, tested, asked a family member to call for me. You name it, everything short of smoke signals! I have spoken to my fiance and we’ve decided to we may go ahead and mail out a message to those that did not rsvp.
Something along the lines of, “We hope this communication finds you well. Due to not having received your response by the deadline date we will regtretfully have to rescind your invitation to our wedding. Thank you for understanding.” Or something along those lines…Havent done it yet. As I said there are 7 days left and anything could happen.
I’m wondering though… should I even bother? If a guest doesnt respond to any form of communication when does a host cross the line into becoming pushy? I mean don’t get me wrong, I wanted these people there. So I invited them. I took the time to follow in several different forms of communication. I crossed my t’s and dotted my i’s. Should I make one final effort? And if so how much longer should I chase them for. I wnt to be able to enjoy the next few weeks before the wedding without having to worry about my guest list.
My venue is superstrict about the final guest list. We cant have people just showing up athe door and saying they know the bride or groom and that they ost their invite in the mail. The location is such that you have to have your reception card or a photo ID on hand to enter. I know it sounds snotty and exclusive but trust me when I say it’s located in the middle of restaurant row on the main drag in our town. We had to be very exclusive.
Anyway…thats my quandry at the moment. Thoughts and ideas would be very much appreciated.
Post # 3
@cruzan1978: though new to all of this, I think what you’re doing is above and beyond your call. And if they haven’t gotten it… I mean… I would send it.
Post # 4
Will their name have to be verified on a list? I don’t know if I’d send something on top of your effort already.
Post # 5
instead of saying that you are rescinding the invitation, tell them that their lack of response is considered a ‘no’ and that you will not be reserving a seat for them….
Post # 6
@cruzan1978: I would phrase it as. Hi ____! We need the give the caterer our final headcount. If I don’t hear from you by Friday at 2, I’ll put you down as a no. Best, Cruzan
It gets the point across. I think “rescinding an invite” may cause unnecessary drama. I’m sure you’re annoyed, but I would just take the high road on this one. You have more important things to worry about.
Post # 7
If they can’t figure out how to RSVP, then consider them as not showing up. I wouldn’t bother sending out a notice. If they do end up showing up they will realize what an idiot they are for not RSVP-ing.
Post # 8
I’ve never heard of “rescinding” an invitation to anything due to someone not responding. If they haven’t responded, I would take it as them not coming, especially since you’ve tried to get in touch with them several ways/times and have had no response. If you happen to get a late RSVP and you’ve already given your final numbers to your venue, only THEN would I let them know (politely) that unfortunately you’ve already reserved and can’t add. However, if your venue allows you to add a few people, I definitely would.
Post # 9
@MidwestBride2012: I 110% agree with this. Do not write “rescind the invite” because that may cause drama (although I totally get how annoyed you must be)!
Post # 10
I’d just consider them a “no” and move on.
Post # 11
@MidwestBride2012: I like that wording too. It’s the same thing, but a little less inflammatory.
I think you’re in the right, though. People who cannot bother to take 2 minutes to RSVP will need to face the consequences of being counted as a no.
Post # 12
I think saying you have to “rescind their invitation” is kind of rude. I understand that they’re also being incredibly rude by not responding, but if you feel it’s necessary to mail them a notice, I would phrase it differently. Just tell them your final headcount is due and your venue has very strict rules about extra people, so since you haven’t received a response, you’ll have to consider them as not attending.
Obviously, you’ll want to make it more eloquent than that. I mean, honestly, I wouldn’t even waste a stamp to send a letter informing them of the circumstances. But my venue is more laidback so I don’t have that aspect to worry about.
Post # 13
I agree with PPs “rescinding the invite” is harsh but people need to know that since they didn’t bother to respond to your REPEATED attempts to contact them that you cannot save them a seat.
Post # 14
i wouldnt say “rescind their invitation” – its their lack of response that means you have to treat them as a decline
Post # 15
Thank you. I knew I loved this site for a reason. yes…I am incredibly annoyed. But I do have to agree that “rescinding the invitation” does sound super bitchy. I like the other ideas on here better. Thank you all for helping me not make an ass of myself. You all rock!
Post # 16
I tell myself, If they don’t say Yes by the given date, then its a no.
People who want to be there will make sure they contact you. Even the most busy and forgetful person should feel obliged after being asked twice ( facebook, calls, etc)