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Unhappy Moms

posted 1 year ago in Photography
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    1.
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    Helper bee
    Mamasita2004    February 12, 2011   Texas

    So, we are having an evening wedding that will start at 7:00 p.m.  This is one of the few things we do not want to budge on.  The chapel is surrounded by windows, and it is beautiful at night.  Anyhow, is will be a short and simple ceremony, probably around 20 minutes.  The reception will follow immediately in a location about 10 minutes away.  We do not want people waiting around to eat until 9:00 p.m.  My goal is to have the dinner served at 8:00 p.m.  That gives us about 15 minutes to take pictures after the ceremony.  We both have VERY large families, and there just isn't enough time to do all of the traditional photos.  We are having VERY light appetizers of gourmet chips and rootbeer (southern bbq meal being served)...and possibly fruit and cheese.  However, people will be hungry for real food after the wedding, and I don't want to keep them waiting.  Plus, there will be approximately 25 children at the wedding, and I couldn't imagine making them wait past 8:00 p.m. 

    So we discussed this issue with our mothers, and needless to say...they are not very happy with us.  They both think we need to have the wedding earlier, or postpone the time that dinner will be served.  We said we wanted to the following pictures after the ceremony:

    My son, FH, and me

    Our immediately family and us (and their spouses and children-there is only one niece)

    Our bridal party and us

     

    That is it.  The rest of the pictures will be snapped away during the reception.  Besides, we really like the natural/fun pictures taken during the ceremony. Those will be the ones framed on our walls, unlike the others that will just be stowed away in a photo album somewhere. 

    Ok. Sorry, but I just needed to vent.

     
    2.
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    Helper bee
    mrsv2be    September 22, 2010  

    It's your wedding. It's late in the day but guests can eat something before they come. Gosh, dinner really can't be served after 8! You have great ideas, don't let them sway you :)

     
    3.
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    Helper bee
    Mamasita2004    February 12, 2011   Texas

    @mrsv2be: Thank you!  That's how I feel too.  I really do not feel right serving dinner any later than 8:00 p.m. 

     
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    bakerella    September 11, 2010   Toronto, ON

    Okay. A couple of ideas. First, you could take some of the photos before the ceremony to cut down on rushing through them in 15 minutes. Second, maybe you could make little snack packs for the kids to munch on during the ceremony? Who doesn't love Cheerios and Goldfish? Or grapes for something less crunchy sounding ;) That is pretty late for the little ones. As a stepmother of a 4-1/2 year old though, I would either find a sitter for him (his bedtime is 7:30) so as to avoid meltdown city, or if I had to bring him I would definitely make sure he ate dinner before we left the house!

     
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    Busy bee
    MissChirpie    August 2010   Minnesota

    I would definately do as many pictures as possible before the ceremony. If you don't want to see your husband before the ceremony, try to get as many pictures without each other that you can. Maybe having a first look & just doing all the pictures before the ceremony would be a good solution for everyone?

     
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    Honey bee
    JamaicaBride    May 14, 2011   Charlotte, NC

    ..another suggestion is to have as many pictures as you can done before the ceremony. You can do all of you pictures with your family before the ceremony. The same with him and his family....and vice versa. If you don't want to see your FI before the ceremony...just save those pics for afterwards.

     
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    Bumble bee
    stlginkgo    3/20/10  

    I ditto you taking as many pics as possible before your ceremony. It will help the time crunch and hopefuly the mom's will be able to get the traditional shots they want.

     
    8.
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    Helper bee
    Mamasita2004    February 12, 2011   Texas

    Well, I can guarantee the all of the parents will be bringing their children to the wedding.  These are the same group of people invited to previous weddings we have been to, and all of the children were there.  Although, I do like the idea of serving a mini snack during the ceremony for the kiddos.  That might actually work. 

    I mentioned the first look concept to my FH, and he was not a fan at all.  He said it was important for him to see me for the first time walking down the aisle. 

    The deal is, I really do not understand the need for all of the pictures taken after the ceremony.  If you have the time, then great!!  However, we do not. I do not think we will miss the big group photo of everyone looking different directions, or the one with family members that we rarely talk to or see, and so forth. 

    That being said, we do have a photographer set up to be with my bridesmaids and me as we get ready, and one for the FH and his groomsmen.  So those sort of pictures will be taken. 

     
    9.
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    Bumble bee
    ms.pascua    June 25, 2010   Los Angeles, CA

    what photos do your moms want taken?  Can these be taken before the ceremony?  Or if they're really adamant about it, ask them to pay more for the photographer (more hours, more money) & take them after the dinner has been served.

     
    10.
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    Helper bee
    Mamasita2004    February 12, 2011   Texas

    @ms.pascua:  That is actually a good suggestion.  I don't see why we can't take these kind of pictures during the reception.  They wanted the following type of pictures:

    FH, son, and me with his immediate family

    FH, son, and me with  my immediate family

    FH with groomsmen

    FH with bridesmaids

    Me with groomsmen

    Me with bridesmaids

    Us with my mom's side of the family

    Us with my dady's side of the family

    Us with his Mom's side of the family

    Us with his Dad's side of the family

    Us with his grandfather

    Us with my grandparents

    Us with just my niece

    And so on and so on.  It's crazy!  Our guest list is actually small for our families..around 140 people.  However, about 100 of those are family members.  So basically we would be asking 100 guests to stay while we take pictures, and sending on the other 40 to the reception to wait, lol!

     
    11.
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    Bumble bee
    ms.pascua    June 25, 2010   Los Angeles, CA

    @Mamasita2004: yep, I stick by my suggestion.  Some could be taken before, IF logistics allow you & your BMs to get there early (this affects the schedule of the hairstylists/make-up artist & the schedule of your transportation - if it costs more to have them around longer): FH with BMs, FH w/ groomsmen, you with groomsmen, you with BMs.  The rest, I'd suggest at the reception & have your moms deal with getting these people together or have them coordinate with the coordinator to do so...it shouldn't be something for you to worry about if you don't want it & they're not paying for it.

     
    12.
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    Bumble bee
    Arachna       nyc

    Well, I'm sure you won't miss them, the idea is that your mom and your aunts etc. will miss those picture to hang on their walls next to their collection of family member's wedding pictures.  :)  And when some of those relatives are gone, it will be nice to have those pictures.

    But, how about taking some after dinner?  There's no law against it.  Maybe just schedule four or so big shots (sides of families) during the dancing.

     
    13.
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    Helper bee
    Mamasita2004    February 12, 2011   Texas

    @Arachna:  I think I am going to suggest this.  At some point throughout the reception, we will take a few big family pictures. 

     
    14.
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    Busy bee
    nyebride    nyebride  

    We had a crazy list of people and we did pictures beforehand.  There were fits thrown from DH's side but it's what we did and it worked great for us. We had pics we wanted to take during the reception and completely forgot about them.

    Since your FI doesn't want to do the first look, do all the pictures you can without seeing each other (you with various people and him with various people) and then after the ceremony do them with the two of you.  But make it known to everyone to stay put and be available to get this done.

     

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