- 5 years ago
- Wedding: January 2014
Help me out here, Bees. I feel like no one understands me, and I am stressed to the max.
Right now nothing is booked for the wedding, but the general idea has been to have it in my homestate in January 2014. We picked the month because I graduate in December 2013, so then we’d be able to get married, apply for my spousal visa, and I could move to him in England.
Well, I’m just not happy with it. I can’t go more than a day without cringing at the thought and panicking. I looked up the current visa processing times to get a feel for what it could be this time next year, and right now it’s sitting at an average of 7 weeks. That means if we get married January 11, I likely won’t have my visa issued until March. What the hell am I supposed to do while I wait? I will finish student teaching at the end of November, so after that I will have no school and no job.
I don’t want to delay the visa any longer by changing my name, so it will be annoying process to change my name after my visa is issued in my maiden name.
So I have all of that on top of general wedding planning stress. I feel added pressure to make sure everyone is pleased since his family is going to be spending so much and travelling so far just to come.
If I had it my way, I’d just elope or have a tiny wedding this summer when he visits. Then I can change my name, take my time with the visa application, and not fret about the processing time. Plus, I can buy my one-way winter flight ahead of time, which will save money (on top of not spending $15k on a wedding).
But I know doing something small this summer disappoints everyone. My FILs already have their holiday time booked, so it would be challenging for them to come out to anything (and I hate the thought of them spending all that money just to watch us get hitched in the courthouse and have lunch afterward). I’m the only daughter, so my parents really want the chance to throw their only wedding. And plenty of other people are excited for a bigger wedding. And on top of this, my FI isn’t really on board with eloping or doing something small this summer, and obviously he is half of the equation! Yet, he hates seeing me so unhappy.
So on the one hand, everyone else seems happier with a bigger January wedding, but I am left unhappy. Everyone else would be disappointed with a small summer wedding/elopement, and their unhappiness would make me unhappy.
Ugh. I just don’t know what to do. If you read this far, have a cookie!