Unhealthy relationships

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee

It’s great that you recognize the problem, or at least part of it. 

Some introspection, research and solitude is in order, I think. Researching how to not be a people pleaser, how to stand up for yourself, and what kind of mindset you have that is causing you to get into these relationships would be a good thing, too. 

Looking into why you have that mindset to begin with would be very helpful, because it came from somewhere and it’s hard to fix a problem when the cause of it isn’t known.

Do you have any idea why you don’t like “rocking the boat? Why are you afraid to end a relationship when you no longer want to be in it? 

Post # 3
Member
4900 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Do either of your exes remind you of anyone from your childhood, male or female?

Post # 4
Member
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

Relat:  Have you talked to a therapist? I think that’d be a better idea

Post # 6
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee

Relat:  Ah, I see. 

I actually questioned my use of “people pleaser” in my comment; it didn’t sound right. I’m glad that’s not an issue you have. 

The information in your second comment is very helpful. It doesn’t sound like your problem, whatever it may be, is as serious as I initially thought. 

May I ask why you wrote this post? 

Post # 8
Member
2242 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Individual therapy. My friend no amount of internet advice replaces the hard work we need to do to overcome relationship patterns. Find a mode of therapy that resonates with you and break free from the chains of the past! (Ok…cheesy but true)

Post # 9
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee

Relat:  Well, in that case, I still think introspection, research, and solitude (being single) are still a good idea. Counseling might be a good idea too. 

I hope you’re able to sort this out and have healthy relationships in the future. 

Post # 10
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Good for you for recognizing your situation and wanting to avoid repeating it! My advice:

1. Be single and learn to enjoy it. Find out who you are. Take a class. Get a hobby. Learn a language! Then go practice that language somewhere far away on a vacation.

2. Get a therapist.

Post # 12
Member
474 posts
Helper bee

Have you considered/would you consider online dating? I suggest it because it might give you more control over who you date… like, you would go into relationships with no emotional attachment, and it would be easier to say “NO” to a second/third/fourth date because you wouldn’t feel like you owed them anything? 

Online dating def. has it’s own issues, but I thought I would throw it out there. :} I wish you the best!! 

Post # 13
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Relat:  You should do a bit of research on this. I know therapy can be expensive, but there may be ways to get a sliding scale or work with someone doing an internship. I’m sure other Bees will have more options as well.

Post # 14
Member
3355 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Of all the people on this planet, you should NEVER be afraid of your significant other. If you are, there are some issues that need to be straightened out or you have to get out.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors