Post # 1
Our wedding invites have gone out. We sent everyone on my fiances side an invite, regardless if we’ve seen them in years or not (most we never see except at Xmas). We had a family dinner tonight with his side (about 20 people) and realized through the grapevine of dinner gossip that we forgot to invite one of his aunts! Now of course this was an oversight but now everyone is of the opinion that we did it on purpose. His aunt and her husband did not speak to us and it was pretty obvious, once we found out, that there were hurt feelings. I was so embarassed and moritified once I found out that I never got a chance to say it was an accident.
Even bigger problem is that this aunt is the daughter of his grandpa and the woman his grandpa had an affair with – so the family isnt very accepting of her anyway considering the family drama that ensued when the affair came out. & because of that it looks like we TOTALLY sided with them and are not treating her as family (which she is, because his grandpa married her mom & anyway its none of our business) – so as you can see it is quite a mess we have unintentionally gotten ourselves into!!!
Can we fix this? If we send an invite now I fear they will think we are doing it because they are upset, when really we never meant to NOT invite them in the first place. but of course they dont know that, they think we snubbed them. i feel absolutely terrible.
Post # 3
@BigKTibs41: If you forgot to tell someone happy birthday, you’d tell them the next day. Invite her now, and include a note saying it was an oversight, and you’re very sorry, and hope she will be gracious enough to forgive you and attend.
Post # 4
Do you have any means of contacting her? If so call her up, explain the oversight and get the address to send the invitation. Most people can tell when you’re being sincere, just apologize for the mix up and let them know how happy it would make you and FI to have them share in your day.
Post # 5
@BigKTibs41: Phone and apologise. Tell the truth, that you simply made a mistake and missed her name. Then send her an invite.
Post # 6
I’d be tempted to say it must have gotten lost in the mail. In any case I’d definitely apologize and invite them.
Post # 7
Call, fall all over yourself with an apology and warmly invite them.
Story for you: 2 years ago my nephew got married. When I married into the family I brought 2 daughters with me. They have always been treated very well by DH’s family.
BIL and SIL asked for my girls’ addresses for the wedding. They never ended up receiving invitations and we just chalked it up to a huge guest list, cuts had to be made and didn’t take it personally.
The morning before the wedding they somehow figured out my girls didn’t get invited. SIL had given BIL the addresses, but he accidently forgot to put them on the spreadsheet. Oops.
We got the most apologetic phonecall and BIL and SIL couldn’t have felt worse. They were mortified this had happened. I told them it was no big deal but they wanted the girls to know what had happened and to know they were very welcome to attend and it was just an oversight on their part. THEY JUST TOLD THE TRUTH!
I called my girls, they got sitters, and we had a great time, no offense taken.
Call them and be honest. Warmly invite them and let them make their decision.
We all make mistakes. We apologize and hope the ones offended accept it. If they don’t, the problem then lies with them.
Post # 8
@BigKTibs41: YOu should send an invite but also call her before it arrives to let her know it was an oversight/you had the wrong address/whatever.
Post # 9
Send invite but also call personally and apologize. If possible, take them out for a meal or social event to mend the fence and show you do want to spend time with them. Good luck!