Post # 1
I want a small wedding, FI wants a big, lavish wedding (hard to do on a $12k budget). He is so uninterested in wedding planning. Every time I try to talk to him, he zones out and just ignores me or doesn’t give any opinions. He’s worried about the cost (we are paying for our own wedding). But neither of us want to postpone – cost is a big factor on why I want a smaller wedding… anyone else have a FI uninterested in wedding planning?
Post # 2
Daenaria727: I think it really depends on what you consider small or lavish, and finding a compromise somewhere in between. My husband and I paid for our own wedding and came in right around $12k for 50 guests including a welcome dinner and a thank you brunch (and of course wedding, cocktail hour, reception with open bar, etc).
Post # 3
Yes! My fiance’ is the same way. We both want to keep costs down, but for the two largest cost areas he doesn’t want to cut corners. I understand that. He had no idea how much anything “wedding related” actually cost. I am doing a ton of research, but he zones out when I try to talk to him about our options. I know that many men aren’t as interested in wedding planning as many women are, but when it comes to the financial vs. quality stuff they need to try to be more involved. Finances are a joint matter (at least for us they are). <br /><br />I am very much of the opinion that it is not the “bride’s day” it is our day, and we need to be in this together all of the way! I love my fiance’ and I will do as much as I can without his input, which is currrently, “whatever you want.” <br /><br /><br />I am planning on putting together charts for my fiance’ so that he can see the options in a data-based way. I am hoping that this will help move some of our discussions along. If your fiance’ is analytically-minded, then this might be a good approach for you as well. <br /><br />Best of luck
Post # 4
Daenaria727: I’m actually same but opposite situation as you. I want something small (I’d really rather elope), he wants it a little bigger. However, he is way more involved than a groom normally is. It’s actually really annoying.
Post # 5
Daenaria727: uuggghh this is such a sore point between FI and I right now. I’ll scream the next time I hear “whatever you like babe, I just want you to be happy”……..give me some input on OUR wedding dammit!!
Post # 6
Daenaria727: Every girl’s dream that you get to make all the decisions for the wedding! Lol!
Post # 7
It’s his wedding as well as yours, so he has just as much obligation as you to participate in the planning. And if he wants a large/lavish wedding while you’d be happy with a smaller one, he has an obligation to be more involved than you. I’d say you give him an ultimatum: if he wants that big wedding, he has to step up and do his share of the planning.