- 6 years ago
- Wedding: January 2013
This is probably going to be a long post, so I thank you all in advance for reading!
So, a little backstory: When I first got engaged, I asked my friend A to be the Maid/Matron of Honor, as we were very close then. We’ve only known eachother for a year or so, but we have very similar personalities so we fell into a fast and close friendship.
My second bridesmaid, C, and I’s relationship is a little more complicated. We’ve known eachother for years and were best friends for many years, but C actually ended our friendship on a very bad note a few years ago and we didn’t talk for two years. In fact, when I got engaged we still weren’t talking. However, a few months afterwards we reconnected and have patched things up completely.
Anyway, a few months ago, A got a new boyfriend and has become obsessed with him. I was fine with her being preoccupied over him at first, but now that her priorities have changed she has lost interest in me completely. We go weeks (sometimes a month or more) without really talking, even though I try to text her often. Plus, her new boyfriend makes me uncomfortable because he’s very rude, but she brings him with her everywhere and just laughs off his rudeness to me.
Because of all of this, I don’t feel close to her any more. She never asks about the wedding or about how my life has been recently or anything, so she knows absolutely nothing that’s going on, which is a complete 180 from how our relationship used to be.
On the other hand, C and I have started to get back to how close we used to be, and are now extremely close again. She asks me how the wedding planning is going all the time, gives me (helpful, not unwanted) advice as a recent newlywed herself, and even pins ideas on her pinterest for my bridal shower even though she’s not the Maid/Matron of Honor and isn’t really responsible for planning the shower.
It makes me feel bad that I have A as my Maid/Matron of Honor when C is putting forth so much effort and showing so much more interest in my wedding. Plus, C shows actual interest in my life beyond my wedding as well daily, while A hasn’t made effort in months.
A told me when I added C as a Bridesmaid or Best Man that if I had chosen to make C the Maid/Matron of Honor instead of her she’d be pissed, so I know that if I changed their positions right now she would be upset. But it just makes me so uncomfortable and I don’t know how to handle this situation at all.
Have any of you had a similar situation? I’d love to hear some different perspectives on it.
(Before the “Bridesmaids only have to show up to the wedding! Asking anything more from them is Bridezilla behavior!!!” posts begin, I’m more hurt about the fact that she’s not acting like she wants to be a part of my life in general more than the fact that she’s not doing things for the wedding)