(Closed) UNinvited Guest assuming they are invited Dilemma….HELP!!!

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What should I do about FSIL's sister?
    Tell her the guest list is set and she is NOT invited, no explanation needed. : (9 votes)
    39 %
    Invite her, but have a chat about drama/dinking before she gets invited : (8 votes)
    35 %
    Other (please explain). : (6 votes)
    26 %
  • Post # 3
    104 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I would invite her… She’s an adult she shouldn’t need a no drama pre invite warning. If she gets drunk or causes an ounce of drama you can get someone to put her in a cab and send her home. 

    she is doing you a favor by giving you a good deal on hair service, just invite her without starting drama ahead of time!

    Post # 6
    593 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I would invite her.. Its one thing to ask someone else to do hair that you are not somewhat friends with but it sounds like this girl is your friend and doing you a huge favor by doing the hair cheaper. I wouldn’t say anything either but maybe casually mention anyone who gets to drunk you will just send home (not like you are talking to her, just about ALL guests) and if she does.. send her home. 

    Post # 7
    11342 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    This is a difficult situation.

    First, I would say that the issue of her prior relationship as well as her proclivity toward excessive drinking should not be factors in this decision.

    Beyond that, here is what I think.

    Under normal circumstances, you would have no obligation whatsoever to invite this individual to your wedding, and it would have been completely inappropriate for her to assume that she is invited.

    However, I believe that the normal social considerations ceased to apply in this scenario the moment that this young woman offered to — and you agreed to allow her to — provide your sister with a substantial discount on hair services on the day of your wedding.

    She offered the discount based on her perception that she has a relationship/friendship with you, and you were happy to accept her offering.  At that point, it was no longer simply a business arrangement but also a kindness shown to a friend.

    Although you certainly are under no obligation to invite all of your friends to your wedding, it would be neater and cleaner if you did not have to see those uninvited friends on the day of your wedding.  I think it would be very awkward to have this person who is more than simply your FSIL’s hair stylist but is someone within your own regular social circle, present all the while you and your maids are getting ready for your wedding and then asking her to go about her own business for the remainder of the day.

    Those are just my personal thoughts on this.

    Post # 9
    847 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2015

    @SageMustard:  +1! You can’t really say to someone ‘you’re a drunk and apparently a huge drama queen, but we’ve chosen to overlook that and invite you to our wedding, aren’t we kind?’. 

    The topic ‘UNinvited Guest assuming they are invited Dilemma….HELP!!!’ is closed to new replies.

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