(Closed) Uninvited guest to the Shower & sil announcing pregnancy

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
2778 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

What happened with the 2nd cousin, and I would encourage the SIL announce it before the shower if she wants to.  It would be worse if she annouced it at your wedding…

Post # 4
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would leave it be regarding the second cousin’s girlfiend, you said she’s going to be driving your Aunt around, take it as an opportunity to meet her, she could be family some day.

As for your sister, I think you would much rather her announce her pregnancy at your shower over your wedding, your shower is just one day of many, your wedding will be the biggest day of them all until your first child.

If your that against your sister announcing at your shower, then talk with her about it, ask her to announce before hand or afterwards. She should be willing to do that for you.

Post # 6
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I think you need to relax. Everything will be fine.

Post # 7
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@Cady:  I agree, take a deep breath. You can’t not invite someone who’s driving your aunt. Do you have a reason to dislike her? Also, it would be pretty hard for your SIL not to tell some people why she’s not drinking. Try to be excited for her. 

Post # 9
Member
2620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

The woman driving your aunt should be able to come. The alternatives are that your aunt can’t come either OR that you’re going to force the poor woman to drop off your aunt and then what…go chill at a Starbucks for a few hours? Don’t be *that* bride. One more person won’t be a big deal.

As for the SIL, I wouldn’t worry about it too much. I dont’ know when your shower is, but most pregnant women wait until at least 12 weeks to say anything. I would prepare yourself for the *possibility* that she could confide in a couple of guests privately (or that they could ask her straight out and she would tell them), but standing up and announcing it at someone else’s shower would be a balsy move. If it happens, stay classy, smile and congratulate her like everyone else, but I doubt it will come up. Maybe I’m not as observant as everyone else, but I don’t give a crap what anyone else’s drinking habits are, so I wouldn’t even notice what’s in her glass.

Post # 10
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Wouldn’t your sisters announcement bring more joy to the day!?

 

Post # 11
Member
2778 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

If your SIL is not comfortable telling people she could just “pretend to drink.”  Drink cranberry juice and tell people it has vodka etc.

But at the 12 week mark I would encourage her to annouce it so she doesn’t accidently blurt it out at the wedding!

Thats too bad about the wedding of your 2nd cousin.  I went to a wedding that was pushed up a few months because the bride found out she was pregnant and didn’t want to be 8 months pregnant at her wedding!

I would try to be polite to her and try and make her feel as included as possible even though she wasn’t invited she is the chauffeur for someone who was.

Post # 12
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I wouldn’t ask your SIL to lie if someone straight up asks her, but when my friend had her shower, it was the same day as my grandfather’s wake…a lot of my friends wanted to express condolences but I cut them off at the start, thanked them, and asked them to not talk about it until after the shower was over so that it wouldn’t put a different tone on a happy day.  I know this is the opposite situation, but perhaps you can ask your SIL to head off any comments someone makes if they guess that she’s pregnant by saying, “That’s very sweet, thank you, but can we talk about it after the shower?  I’d rather focus on Adalita right now, I’m so excited that she’s going to be my sister-in-law soon!”  Or something.  

The medication line might backfire anyway, it could turn into a lot of women giving her advice on how to get pregnant, which is way more distracting than, “Yeah, but let’s talk about it later.”  Because people always have advice to give, I say as I spew advice. 

Post # 13
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

Just try to enjoy yourself. If she does mention it, it will probably be a quick acknowledgement  and it will be back to focusing on you!

Post # 15
Member
954 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Its really not going to overshadow your shower if someone asks her why she’s not drinking and she says that she is expecting.  It’s still your day.  My friend’s bridesmaid announced her engagement at the rehearsal dinner for the friend’s wedding…didn’t overshadow the wedidng at all.

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