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@Aug2012bride: For guests who you don't hear from after the RSVP deadline, you can call them all and ask for an RSVP answer.
As for extras showing up day of, I didn't have any of those. Are you going to have DOC? They should handle any "uninvited guests".
No DOC... maybe my mom can help with this (if needed)
Hopefully nothing like this will happen, but it seems like it is not unheard of.
Same thing will happen at my wedding I'm sure of it. No DOC either. I have an awesome MOH who will kindly tell them the situation and let them know they can join for the ceremony but the reception wont have a seat for them.
Unless someone brings their kid. Then I suppose you have no choice but to squish in a chair ..
@Aug2012bride: who is in charge of the setup/tear down at your venue? I'd have them figure it out (not you!). Also - there are likely to be a handful of no-shows and people can figure it out.
My venue messed up one of the table setups and didn't have enough chairs for the people at that table. I have no idea how it ended up getting resolved - but it did - and everything was fine. We didn't have any univited guests.
@Aug2012bride: I did! I had 2 people show up who were uninvited. We had 40 free seats from those who had RSVPed yes and nevedr showed so we had the room. I just smiled and thanked them for coming. I was soo happy to be married hahaa.
Have someone at the door with a list of those who can come in. If someone uninvited shows up just say "I'm sorry but I don't see your name ont he list. Do you mind waiting to see if a seat opens up?
It happens. People forget. My dear friend had an aunt who never RsVPed fly from Ohio to Virginia to her wedding. I had a man drive 15 hours to ours. We didnt know he wanted to come! He drove and we welcomed him.
Everything will work out!!
I have this evil awful thought for my own wedding. In this area it isn't uncommon for people to not RSVP and show. Heck in this area it isn't uncommon for people to show up uninvited. So my evil plan is that those that don't rsvp or show up uninvited will have to drag over a picnic table from the park's pavillion and not get a comfy seat with real linen like everyone else. I will still welcome them with open arms but I refuse to lay up at nights worry about this. Do I have enough chairs, enough plates, enough napkins, etc. They are likely adults and can makeshift things for themselves. I will lay in a small stock of disposables. Am I completely off my rocker?
40 people said yes and didn't show? OMG! How many people did you invite! That just sounds so heartbreaking! I mean who does that?
I'm hearing a lot lately about people not RSVPing. I recently saw an articale that said a lot of people don't RSVP because they feel they don't need to, or just didn't know what it meant. WTF?!
I think it's one of those basic good mannerisms that seems to be lost on a lot of younger people.
LOL! I like it!
It's not that hard to just pick up the phone, dial a number, yell "I AM COMING!" down the receiver and hang up, is it? Haha!
Seriously though, if people had any common sense they would realise that weddings cost money, and the bride and groom cater for the number of people they know are coming. It's just good manners.
Of course there are always going to be the occasional hiccups where people really did forget due to one reason or another, but it isn't hard work to say yay or nay to an invite.
A polite host simply prepares a seat for the guest. The kitchen will always make more portions then are required so getting a meal shouldn't be an issue. The host is not required to fit the person onto the seating chart or produce escort cards. The non responding guest should understand why they are not getting the same card as the others.
thanks for that comment. you are absolutely right that i should not worry about having them on a seating chart ot having an escort card. sheesh but these are the details that are floating through my head!
I've heard about this too, and I had a solution for it.
Basically, you have a guest list, and you have a deadline for a certain date (right?) SO, what I was thinking of doing is to call all the people who haven't RSVPed back and double check. I know its a hassle BUT its better than having your budget go up in flames.
@BerryBerry: I was hurt but it worked out. We had a wonderful reception. There were a lot of empty chairs but the food was FABULOUS and the music was great. We lost over $2500 in food.
I had a guest list of 187 and on the daty of the wedding 130 showed up to the reception.
So, really there were 57 empty seats. I'm over it now because the day was perfect.
There's really no way to control guests coming or not coming to the wedding. We had roughly 8 empty seats. At a wedding of 51, it was noticeable. Some RSVP'd yes and did not show.
More awkwardly there were many children we had made room for and activities for that didn't show last minute with no warning. Ok I guess but I was confused. my aunt in law decided last minute to leave them with their uncle nearby and pick them up after the wedding without letting us know. It was weird. I was genuinely missing them and concerned when they didn't show, their mom and dad were pretty vague about the decision but I let it go.
It's rude. But I think that if people show up with no RSVP or don't show up... you as the person getting married should not have to make last minute adjustments to your day to include them. If there's no room they can stand or find an empty chair or the venue can help them. People who don't RSVP shouldn't expect a seat, a full dinner or even room to sit at the ceremony. :/ If they show up that's really not your problem.
@Aug2012bride: I'm actually worried about that for my wedding- we're doing the no kids thing and having some trouble with one guest already. We have distributed babysitting info to people with kids, and the babysitter can be at the venue to entertain the kids in another area if parents have no other options since our wedding's a few hours away for most people- and 99% of our guests are respecting our wishes. I'm wondering how to handle people if they show up with the kids the day of. I think at that point I don't even want to know- I'll just let my wedding coordinator know where to find the babysitter at the Inn and to please direct the children there ASAP if they come :P
@secondchances: I love it- believe me I'm prepared to have someone ready to push any kids who show up at the wedding right on in to the babysitter. People can be so naive- even though we explicity let everyone know we aren't having kids at the wedding (even provided babysitting info) I have this feeling that people aren't getting it. Proper etiquette doesn't seem to get across to some people- addressing the envelope to one or two people with no kids or plus one is lost on some people. I have a feeling I have a lot of uncomfortable phone calls to some of my guests in the future when they RSVP with their munchkins... but like you said- if they show up with kids I'm going to have a plan in place to help avoid the kid screaming at my ceremony or crying during the reception. Sounds terrible I know, but I just want people to respect our wishes!
@SarahConnors: Dealing with a similar situation re: no kids at the wedding. Curious to hear if you have a plan in place for parents who show up with kids who do not want them with the babysitter you have. My fiance mentioned that he could see some cousins in his family bringing kids (even though they are not invited) and saying they don't feel comfortable with a stranger watching their child (even though it will be in the same venue).
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So I've read in other postings about people who attend a wedding without sending an RSVP or who bring someone whose name was not on the invite. I'm wondering what a bride's supposed to do in this situation. Once the wedding day has come, seating arrangements have been done, place cards are all set up and the chef has a list of menu choices to cook. At this point am I supposed to run and get an extra place card and squeeze an extra chair in one of the tables??? This seems so awkward!
Has anyone had to deal with this?