- 9 years ago
- Wedding: May 2009
We specified a number for each guest/party on all of our invitations to make it clear that we could only afford a certain amount of guests. My parents are footing the bill for the wedding, and we are banking on 200. The guy and I really wanted to keep the number down as much as possible because that was our original intention and each plate comes to about 35.00 per person.
Keep in mind- I am Native American and am hosting the wedding in my hometown and we have a HUGE family. Some that I’m close with, some that I’m not, and some that I do not see very often at all were invited. In our culture and my family, it’s our way to share everything, offer things when needed and honor and respect your elders.
I got an RSVP from a great aunt yesterday who we specified 2 seats for… she marked it out and put 5!!!
I actually cried.
Up until the last few weeks… things have been smooth sailing with the wedding planning. I didn’t want to stress about all of that b/c it’s supposed to be a time to remember. I found I was a very low-maintence bride and tried not to sweat the small stuff.
About 3 weeks ago, my fiance broke his ankle, and it’s been a whirlwind since then with surgery and him being out of work. Now, we are getting our RSVP’s back and still have 12 days until the deadline. No matter who I talk to- they simply tell me “you have to tell them no. Tell them that you can’t afford to invite extras because you only have a certain amount of seats. (but in a polite way)”
Easier said than done.
How do you tell a great aunt that you can’t invite your second cousins because you haven’t seen them in years… or that you can’t afford the extra 110.00 for her 3 extra guests? My parents are so ho-hum about it, like- we can pay the extra if necessary. Isn’t the point of a guest list for your wedding to be special to those close to you? That’s what we wanted. No fluff.
It’s so easy to give advice on this topic- but really hard to be the bad guy. It makes my stomach sick to have to tell idk how many people they can’t invite extra people. It’s just a lot of people and I’m anticipating the worst since we’ve only got about 20 rsvps back so far.
I have never once said, it’s about me, but I finally got reassurance last night from a cousin of mine. “Just remember that it’s your day… and shame on those people for putting you in an akward situation.”
She actually offered to help me call those people if I needed. YES, PLEASE. If I tell people they cannot come, I am the bridezilla… 🙂 We’ll see if she can be the bad guy so I don’t have to worry about it so much or unless she was just being nice. I may do notecards so I don’t have to have the akward face to face- even then, I need to know WHO they have invited with them.
Any creative solutions to help a girl feel better?… 😉