Post # 1
I was reccently “uninvited” to a wedding. After sending out Save the Date cards, the bride and groom decided to go for a smaller wedding and limited the guest list to bridal party and friends .The only problem I had with this was that we were told this via a mass Facebook message which i thought was odd and that we still were invited to the shower (there were more people invited to the shower than the actual wedding).
My question is, am I still expected to send them a wedding gift? i did send a shower gift but I’m not sure if I should send a wedding gift since at one point I was invited?
Post # 3
I would say no. If you had never been invited you wouldn’t have sent a gift so I would see no reason anyone would expect you to send a gift when you have been uninvited.
Post # 4
I would probably just send a congratulatory card.
Post # 6
Post # 7
I wouldn’t send a gift. I probably wouldn’t have sent a shower gift either. Seems gift-grabby to uninvite people to a wedding but still a shower.
Post # 8
No, and my reasoning is basically for the impersonal and sort of rude way they notified you that you were un-invited. I understand a change of plans, but at least have the courtesy to call or have a personalized email.
Post # 9
I wouldn’t be sending a gift, and I also wouldn’t attend the shower, to be honest.
Post # 10
I wouldn’t have sent a gift for the wedding or the shower personally.
Post # 11
Do whatever you feel is appropriate.
To me it would depend on the reason they made the wedding smaller.
One of my friends from work had to move her wedding up (and make it smaller) due to her mother being very ill.
I was invited to the engagement party and then cut off the wedding list. I still sent a gift because she was a friend and I completely understood the extenuating circumstances requiring her to cut her wedding size.
It is odd though that this couple is inviting more people to the shower then the wedding itself. It seems a bit gift grabby to me. Unless there were extenuating circumstances I’d probably not send a wedding gift.
Post # 12
Gift-giving is not anyone’s obligation, In My Humble Opinion. If you feel like sending a card or something small regardless, go for it. If not, don’t worry about it. No sane couple is going to be expecting gifts from everyone. “Hoping for,” sure. But, “expecting…” Nah. I know we aren’t!
Post # 13
Thanks! I feel so much better. Honestly, I was suprised I was invited from the beginning so when she reduced the wedding size and most of my friends and I were uninvited, I didn’t really think much of it. Then I started feeling really guilty about not sending a gift. But a card sounds like the perfect plan 🙂
Post # 15
I think a card is sufficient. Unless like a previous poster mentions there’s an extenuating circumstance that you feel is valid and want to send something.