Post # 1
Here’s my dilemna… A friend of mine (someone who probably wouldn’t have been invited to the wedding independently) started dating my groom’s best friend. While they were dating, she got invited to my bachelorette party. Now, she broke up with him (and didn’t do it nicely) and emailed one of the bridesmaids about details for the party. She will no longer be invited to the wedding– How do I express that she shouldn’t come to the party?
Post # 3
eeeeekk!!! Sticky situation!! I had a similar thing happen when my Fiance didnt want his younger sister to attend my bachelorette party after I had already invited her!
In your situation i would send her a quick email explaining that you dont want to put your Fiance in the akward position of having to explain why you are stil hanging out with his ex. I would make it seem like its “nothing personal” just conflict avoidance… and if they broke up in a bad way you probably wont hav to see her again any way.. I cant imagine why she would still want to go!!!
Post # 4
If your bridesmaid didn’t give her any details, then it shouldn’t be a problem to just ignore her info request or politely tell her that she will not be invited. If your Bridesmaid or Best Man has already given her the details, and now you don’t want her there, the only thing you can do is either allow her to come, change location, or tell her, “I’m sorry, but due to the circumstances with __groomsman__ I don’t feel comfortable extending an invitation to you.”
Post # 5
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Is the guy still invited to the wedding? Are you okay with possibly losing whatever friendship you do have with the girl? If yes to both, have the bridesmaid send a tactful response letting the girl know that since she is no longer dating X (guy) and X is attending the wedding, it was decided that she would not be invited to any of the bridal events.
Is it going to hurt her? Yes. If her and X get back together before the wedding it may cause major drama. But if you truly don’t want her there, let her know ASAP rather than stringing her along. There is nothing worse than being at an event where you are unwanted.
Post # 6
Was she only invited because she was dating a groomsman? Why would she want to come to the wedding/bach now after a bad breakup? This is tough. We had some people break up after invites were sent out, but the person we knew told their ex that they were no longer invited, not us. This is a tough one. Is your fiance’s friend in the wedding? Is she your friend independently of their relationship? If not, I might have your fiance and his friend deal with her wedding and related activities involvement.
ETA: If you already decided and told her she’s not invited to the wedding, she should figure out on her own she probably shouldn’t come to your bach party.
Post # 7
Thanks Kandiss and Megz! My bridesmaids sent out a “save the date” type message so she has some basic details. The email she sent back to my bridesmaid said “I have a scheduling conflict and I am trying to figure out how to solve this”… I am trying to find a polite way to say that she should go with her other plans. It just feels so awkward. Also, since the message didnt come to me, do you think its ok if my bridesmaid responds, not me?
Post # 8
Yes, the guy is still invited and is in the wedding party. He is my fiance’s best friend (like basically inseparable). The problem is… I am not ready to say I never want to have a relationship with her again, but I know that at this point, she will not be welcome with the group. I feel like it will be so awkward for her and I cant understand why she would even want to come. Also, I dont want my fiance’s friend (the ex boyfriend) knowing that she is sending these messages because i think he will get upset. I wanted to keep him out of it.
Thanks everyone for your advice!