Post # 1
HELP! I invited my boss (who’s kind of a friend) to my wedding. He has insisted on bringing a date, even though he dates random people I don’t know. I decided to not be a Scrooge and accommodate. He has also offered to film my wedding. However, over the last month, things at work have been hell. He’s not paid me consistently (I’ve gone 6 weeks without a paycheck), so things are very strained. I walked out a few weeks ago. I went in to tie up some loose ends last week. We got into another fight and I left again. I’m a pretty forgiving person & he would still be invited to the wedding. Except my fiancé is LIVID at the way I’ve been treated and says he is not welcome. How do I handle this?
Post # 3
Did you verbally invite him or send a formal invitation?
And if it was formal, has he RSVP’d?
Post # 4
@Debrog: If you sent a formal invitation, there’s no going back.
Post # 5
@Debrog: Honestly, I think it’s a non-issue. If things ended that badly, I doubt he would go to your wedding, anyway.
If you sent him an invitation, you can’t revoke it. I would just hope that he would have the decency to figure out that after all that, he’s probably no longer welcome at your wedding.
Post # 6
I would just hope he has the good sense to realize he shouldn’t go
Post # 7
@Debrog: If you sent a written invitation, it cannot be rescinded, however one hopes he has the sense to realize he isn’t welcome.
If the invitation was verbal, don’t send a written one! Hope it works out! 🙂
Post # 8
The PPs are right. You can’t really rescind an invite once the paper invitations go out. If they’re not out yet, just don’t send him one!
I’m sorry. I’ve totally been in your shoes re:not getting paid and having to walk out. I hope the next place you work is much better!
Post # 9
If things ended badly between the two of you I don’t he will show up anyways.
Post # 10
I did send a formal invite. He has not yet RSVPd. He’s a little clueless. I’m sure he’d come anyway. Like I said, Im not one to hold grudges. It’s my fiancé who’s demanding he not be there. I’m not sure how to appease him.
Post # 11
I would un-invite him. Obviously I am in the minority.
Sounds like nothing but trouble and you need to be stress free.
It also sounds like you will not be working with him anymore, so who cares what he or anyone else thinks. You have to be on the same page as your fiance.
Post # 12
I’d do this too. Explain the situation if you need to, be polite but firm and simply uninvite him
Post # 13
This is what I would do (this is not etiquette. but in this case I do not thing etiquette applies) I would email him saying with the current status of our professional relationship I do not think it will be appropriate for you to be at my wedding. I am sorry for any confusion this may cause, but I dont feel comfortable sharing this personal day with you.
Post # 14
Thank you so much for all your feed back!
Post # 16
you may need a reference from him someday, so I’d do your best to stay on good terms.