Uninviting an Invited Guest

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Did you verbally invite him or send a formal invitation?

And if it was formal, has he RSVP’d?

Post # 4
3978 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Debrog:  If you sent a formal invitation, there’s no going back. 

Post # 5
841 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Debrog:  Honestly, I think it’s a non-issue. If things ended that badly, I doubt he would go to your wedding, anyway.

If you sent him an invitation, you can’t revoke it. I would just hope that he would have the decency to figure out that after all that, he’s probably no longer welcome at your wedding. 

Post # 6
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I would just hope he has the good sense to realize he shouldn’t go

Post # 7
3845 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Debrog:   If you sent a written invitation, it cannot be rescinded, however one hopes he has the sense to realize he isn’t welcome.  

If the invitation was verbal, don’t send a written one!  Hope it works out!  🙂

Post # 8
3787 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

The PPs are right. You can’t really rescind an invite once the paper invitations go out. If they’re not out yet, just don’t send him one! 

I’m sorry. I’ve totally been in your shoes re:not getting paid and having to walk out. I hope the next place you work is much better!

Post # 9
6455 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@LilliePad:  +1

If things ended badly between the two of you I don’t he will show up anyways.

Post # 11
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would un-invite him.  Obviously I am in the minority.

Sounds like nothing but trouble and you need to be stress free. 

It also sounds like you will not be working with him anymore, so who cares what he or anyone else thinks.  You have to be on the same page as your fiance.

Post # 12
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

@loveus: +100


I’d do this too. Explain the situation if you need to, be polite but firm and simply uninvite him

Post # 13
1568 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

This is what I would do (this is not etiquette. but in this case I do not thing etiquette applies) I would email him saying with the current status of our professional relationship I do not think it will be appropriate for you to be at my wedding. I am sorry for any confusion this may cause, but I dont feel comfortable sharing this personal day with you. 


Post # 16
240 posts
Helper bee

you may need a reference from him someday, so I’d do your best to stay on good terms.

Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors