Weddingbee boards

I think you need to let it be. Would she ruin your bachelorette to have her in the background? I think uninviting her will just further confirm that you guys aren't that close & it will probably just hurt her feelings. Perhaps she won't want to come anyway because it's out of her element... especially if you don't have an open friendship like you have with your other BMs?
 

From another perspective, I am that quiet, reserved older sister to a wilder, more outgoing little sister.  I would not enjoy a traditional bachelorette party, so I didn't have one before my wedding.  My little sister would like to have one, so as her BM, I am trying to plan something SHE wants.  And yeah, that means we're going out to bars and I'll probably buy her all the bachelorette paraphenelia that goes with it.  Your sister might not be comfortable with the traditional party like you are, but maybe she is trying to suck it up for one night so she can be supportive of her sister.  I think that alone is reason enough to leave her on the invite list.  Plus she might even surprise you and really loosen up at the party!

im not trying to sound harsh here so please dont take it that way but personally she is entitled to an invitiation and to want to exclude her is kinda rude. of course i could be wrong but thats how i feel. 

she is your sister AND your MOH.  my gosh - how would she feel if she was to find out after the event that something that big happened and she was excluded by her own sister on purpose. as she has penciled it in already, it obviously means something to her

hopefully everyone will have a great time

Hey, msprettyinpink, I totally understand.  I can personally pledge that if you go with your gut and really try with your sister it can go a long way.  I posted about my recent conversation with my little sis here.  There were a lot of fights, tension, and bad feelings before my wedding, and I really didn't want my sister to have the same experience.  My little sister let me help her with some planning problems during the conversation I posted about, and that was a huge step in getting us closer together.  I felt like she needed me and that I was useful, and that really helped me get over the hurt feelings I had before.

The truth is that your sister probably wants be included, both in the wedding and in your life, but sometimes it's hard when you don't know how to help or when you feel unwanted.  If your sister isn't into weddings, what is she interested in?  If you can let her "help" you with a problem in an area she is interested in (maybe she loves art and you can ask her about invitation designs, or she might have good suggestions for a groom's gift since she knows your Fi, etc...) she might feel really grateful. 

Also, you might want to think about whether your sister kinda feels excluded from the whole wedding thing.  If you and your BMs are planning stuff without her or not inviting her, she might feel like you invited her to be your MOH out of pity, not because you really want her there.  I can't tell you how much it meant to me this weekend when my little sis casually mentioned that I was the only person she had wanted as a BM originally, but added other BMs so our other sisters wouldn't feel left out.  I know it's a lot of work on your end, but a little bit could go a long way.  :)

P.S.  This could also just be the big sister in me doling out unwanted advice.  Feel free to tell me to shut it.