- 3 months ago
- Wedding: July 2017
I’ve got a tricky one. So my Mom passed away of cancer twelve years ago. She and I were very close and my brother was close with my Dad. I’ve never been close with him, but have since moved to another city and started a new life here. I’ve had a son, been a single Mom for the past six years, met the man who will become my husband in July, and started a successful business. It’s been hard, and I’ve done it all myself. I’m proud of myself, but I still want my Dad.
He never calls, never visits. I wouldn’t see him if it wasn’t for us visiting him. He sees my brother, who lives three hours away, all the time. He never calls my son, doesn’t have an interest in being a grandfather or even my father. He doesn’t even call on my birthday.
He’s since started dating a woman who has four young children and is super involved in their lives. Goes to all their games, calls them, visits them, knows about them. And while I love and support that he needs to move on from my mother, I wish that he was involved in our lives.
I’ve had conversations many times over the years. Asked him how he feels, why he doesn’t visit or call, why he doesn’t express interest, and he says he’s doing the best he can. Which hurts, because his best is different with other people.
So now we’re getting married. My Dad hasn’t visited us in over a year. I have been the only one trying in this relationship for so long, and I’m tired. I stopped trying to reach out, not to give up, bit just to see if he’d reach out, or how long it’s be before he did. It’s been 35 days without any contact. It’s such a juxtaposition to my fiance’s parents, who don’t understand why my Dad doesn’t seem to care and are involved.
So, my problem. With all this said, how do I cope with him at our wedding? He doesn’t care at all. I’m inviting him, but more out of social obligation than love. How do I go about dealing with this?