Post # 1
I live out of the country currently, but I am registered under my parents’ address (in the US) since most of my guests are in the US and my wedding is in the US. I was surprised when my mother said I already started receiving gifts a couple weeks ago! My wedding is in July and I will arrive home a couple weeks before the wedding. I (some might say stupidly) just realized that technically one is supposed to send a thank you card within 2 weeks of receiving the gift. I, however, have not ‘seen’ the gifts. Should I have my mother open them and see who they are from and then I send a thank you card from here without ‘opening’ or ‘seeing’ the actual gift (and everyone knows we live overseas), or wait until I get home in a little over a month? Anyone with a similar situation??
Post # 3
@buzzer713: Yes, have your mother open the gift. She can text you a photo of the gift if you like. Wedding gifts are not like “wait for Christmas” surprises: they are intended to help you set up your new home. As anyone knows who has ever moved or set up housekeeping, that takes some time. Ideally, a bride and groom will want to move into their newly equipped marital home immediately after their wedding, so gifts are supposed to be sent ahead of time, opened ahead of time, put into their place ready for use, and then be left waiting for the moment when your new husband carries you across the threshold (or vice versa if you are non-traditional and have the upper-body strength.)
The internet contains many rules, some of them completely insupportable and the rest creative but unauthoritative, about how long you “have” to right thank-you notes. No etiquette police will knock on your door if you take fifteen days instead of two weeks, and some “authorities” give you six weeks, or three months. None give you a year, which is the common insupportable mis-statement. But the gold standard of thank-you notes is to write them before you go to bed on the same day that the gift was received, or as soon as possible thereafter. Having your mother open them and describe them to you makes “as soon as possible” a little sooner than keeping the kind givers waiting for a little over a month.
And it makes your life easier by letting you do the notes gradually rather than having several to write all at once.
Post # 4
@aspasia475: Thank you! Very well put. I will get on the thank you notes (and now it will take even longer sending them from overseas eek!) I hope my guests won’t be worried that the gifts didn’t make it!