(Closed) Unique gift/thank you card situation?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee

@buzzer713:  Yes, have your mother open the gift. She can text you a photo of the gift if you like. Wedding gifts are not like “wait for Christmas” surprises: they are intended to help you set up your new home. As anyone knows who has ever moved or set up housekeeping, that takes some time. Ideally, a bride and groom will want to move into their newly equipped marital home immediately after their wedding, so gifts are supposed to be sent ahead of time, opened ahead of time, put into their place ready for use, and then be left waiting for the moment when your new husband carries you across the threshold (or vice versa if you are non-traditional and have the upper-body strength.)

The internet contains many rules, some of them completely insupportable and the rest creative but unauthoritative, about how long you “have” to right thank-you notes. No etiquette police will knock on your door if you take fifteen days instead of two weeks, and some “authorities” give you six weeks, or three months. None give you a year, which is the common insupportable mis-statement. But the gold standard of thank-you notes is to write them before you go to bed on the same day that the gift was received, or as soon as possible thereafter. Having your mother open them and describe them to you makes “as soon as possible” a little sooner than keeping the kind givers waiting for a little over a month.

And it makes your life easier by letting you do the notes gradually rather than having several to write all at once.

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