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I have a couple of ideas. Depending on the ceremony you could let a candle in his honour and have your FI say a few words on how special his dad was to him and how it will make him a better person to you in your married life. Or maybe if he had a favourite band or piece of music you could have that play at some point during your ceremony.
Hope you guys find something that is meaningful to you.
I like the tree idea. Perhaps you could plant it in a pot and then replant it in your backyard (whenever you have a permanent home) or somewhere else special.
I have heard about the candle thing too. Or you could do as rachelss suggests and plant a tree in a pot and then bring it home with you.
We are struggling with this one too. My FI's father was killed in a car accident about 5 years ago and we are having trouble with this one. One things I thought of was maybe doing a small little ribbon or something to that effect on the flowers, like the guys have a little ribbon, charm, or something to that effect on their bouts and the girls and I have a small little something on our bouquets. He was a fireman so we are toying with all kinds of ideas.
I went to a reception once where the bride's father had passed away a few years prior. They left a chair for him at the reception. It was eerie, but touching. The mother of the bride was at a table with the grandparents and aunts and uncles and there was just one untouched place setting and empty chair. Nothing was really "said", but it was understood and I thought it was a beautiful gesture to show how much of an emptiness her father's absence was.
I had a post about this a few months ago because I just cannot think of what to do, especially since my fiance wants to honor his father someway but wants it to be subtle and kind of private.
Ideas suggested were having a reading or mention of the father in the ceremony or have a lit candle for his dad somewhere at the ceremony or reception. One idea he and I had but aren't doing was to make cocktail hour in honor of his dad and play primarily his favorite music/songs during the hour.
If he was wearing a shirt wit french cuffs, I would give him engraved locket cufflinks and include a picture of his father inside, so he could have his dad close to him during the day.
My fiance has rejected all my ideas, so who knows what we'll end up doing!
@LadyGoodman i really really love your idea of personalized cufflinks with his father's pic inside. were you able to find a place that does this?
Red Envelope has them: http://gifts.redenvelope.com/cufflinks/monogrammable-locket-cuff-links-30000829?viewpos=17&trackingpgroup=rfmcl
I am sure I could find some at Things Remembered or Lillian Vernon or other places with personalized stuff.
I really like the idea and my FSIL was going to chip in so we could get a pair for his 2 brothers too, but they're all going to wear regular button down shirts and not shirts with french cuffs. Boo!
thanks! FI's father passed away a year ago and i think he will really appreciate this gift.
I love the cuff links idea. My father died 10 years ago this June (our wedding's in July) and plus we have a lot of other family losses, so we're doing a moment of silence... after I wrote this reply I just re-read your post and you asked for things other than that... oops! Sorry.
We're also getting some family wedding pictures to put on display (cake table, etc.) and we'll include some special family photos there. So it's not in everyone's face, but if they see it, they'll know. That one is more subtle. We're not going to label them or anything.
My father passed away 10 years ago last month. Our ceremony program has an "In Memory" section listing my father and mine and FI's deceased grandparents. I will also have a candle burning in memory of my dad during the ceremony. Nothing is going to be said about it, because that would seriously run my make-up. We're also using the same cup for the blessing over the wine that my parents used at their wedding. And finally, we are making a donation in my father's memory to a non-profit organization I know he would support.
On a related note, two years ago one of the women who should have been my BM passed away. (Breast cancer at 32. Feel your boobies, girls.) Her name is also on the In Memory list, and to keep her close I am wearing a charmed from her charm bracelet pinned inside my dress. Her mom loaned the charm to me.
So, all that leads me to ask, if there is some object you can incorporate into your ceremony or into FI's attire that would remind him of his dad?
Thanks so much for the advice - I showed this thread to FI, and he liked a few of the ideas - planting the tree in a pot, saying something about his father at the ceremony, the candle, and the empty chair. He also passes on his thanks to everyone :)
We are having a memory table at the reception for my dad, my FI's dad and his brother...we found a really nice poem and have that printed out and framed as well as wedding pics of both of our parents and my FI and his brother
Both of FI's parents have passed away (years ago)
We are leaving 2 empty chairs in the front row and before the ceremony starts, 2 of FI's nephew's will walk out and adorn the chairs with a floral swag. We also planned on letting FI's siblings walk up and place a rose over the seats.
I am making the boutonnières, so FI's will have a tiny frame with a picture of his parents.
We haven't started writing our ceremony yet, but I'm sure we will mention them.
We mention my dad in the program and our recessional song is the theme from Raiders of the Lost Ark which was one of my dad's favorite movies.
@VirginiaMarie - I love that idea but unfortunately I think we will need every seat in our venue! I am thinking I might leave an empty seat at the ceremony instead...
I LOVE the cufflinks idea. One of my friends released butterflies after reading a poem in rememberance of her dad.
My father has been gone 22 years, my close aunt 4 and my grandmother just 1 year. Depressing. I am sad about it. I got little charms that I am going to have attatched to my flowers, one for each of them. I got them at a craft store and they are things that clearly represent the individuals. Similar to having a charm on a bout for a guy. The candle, reading, emply chair, moment of silence..... too much for me, I'd be a mess! I also plan to leave my flowers and some others at their graves the next morning. For me it is very personal and I don't need to really share my rememberaces with everyone.
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FI's father passed away when he was younger, and FI really wants to do something special to honor him at the ceremony. (Beyond doing a reading or asking for a moment of silence). One idea FI had was to plant a tree, but we aren't allowed to do that at our venue. We are getting married outside so there aren't too many other restrictions as long as we're not destroying the venue grounds :)
We are writing our own ceremony and have a friend officiating, so we don't have anyone to ask for ideas.
Does anyone have suggestions for what we could do?