(Closed) unity candle

posted 9 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’ve seen it done many times in Catholic weddings ~ but my church doesn’t encourage it because it’s not a catholic tradition therefor doesn’t belong in the mass. We’re thinking about doing it at the reception. I was actually suprised that they don’t like unity candles though … has anyone else heard this?

Post # 4
Member
6010 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Yeah, we weren’t going to do it, but our priest told us he wouldn’t allow it, anyway.  It’s not a traditional part of the ceremony and has no theological/spiritual basis so some churches won’t allow it.  Because every parish is different, though, you’ll have to ask your church whether or not they will let you do it. 

Post # 5
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I am not having a Catholic wedding and we are hving a unity candle. However, my cousin had a unity candle at her wedding and she did have a Catholic church wedding. I didn’t know some Catholic churches didn’t allow it. I guess it depends on the church.

Post # 6
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

This is definitely at the priest’s discretion. Some will refuse, some will be fine with it, some will grudgingly allow it. I’ve been to several Catholic weddings that had unity candles (always before the liturgy started), but it is definitely not a Catholic tradition and not part of the liturgy.

I don’t know where our priest stands because we didn’t want to have a unity candle, anyway. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Interesting how much it varies by parish… I had heard that this was not a traditional part of a Catholic mass and wasn’t planning on doing it, but last week we met with our church’s music director and he asked us what song we wanted for the unity candle. I was surprised, but he said that almost everyone in my parish does the lighting of the unity candle. I think our priest is pretty laid-back about some of those details though, for example he also lets people use some more secular music in addition to more traditional songs.

Post # 8
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

My cousin recently did it at her church. We are having a semi-Catholic & Baptist wedding…but we won’t be doing the unity candle.

Post # 9
Member
22 posts
Newbee

Interesting.  I think almost every catholic wedding I have been to has had it.  We are having one, and our catholic church even provides us with a stand for it.  (St. paul, mn )

Post # 10
Member
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

My oldest sister had one at her wedding and I really liked the symbolism of it. My mom liked that she had something to do for the ceremony. The church my FI and I will be married in doesn’t allow unity candles (so much that they highlighted this in the PACKET of don’ts they mailed to me) Kinda bummed. Anyone with thoughts on how to incorporate it in your reception without it being to churchy, since the ceremony is long enough?

Post # 11
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’ve seen it done at 3 of the 4 catholic weddings I’ve been to. Talk to your priest.

Post # 12
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009

When we were taking the marriage classes given by the church, the priest said that the unity candle only became popular after a soap opera featured it on an episode. Apparently it is not part of the traditional ceremony. However, I don’t know how much of that is true. I’ve seen it done in a few weddings but since my FI is not Catholic, we decided not to do it.

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