(Closed) Unity Candle/ Wine Ceremony Issues

posted 4 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
11227 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I don’t want to try to talk you into a sand ceremony. However, may I ask why you hate this idea?

Post # 4
Member
4059 posts
Honey bee

@shootznladrz89:  We are having an outdoor wedding with a unity candle ceremony. We are just putting the candle in a hurricane to prevent the wind from blowing it out. Would that be an option?

Post # 6
Member
11227 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@shootznladrz89:  Ah, OK.  That makes sense. 🙂

Again, I’m not trying to talk you into having one, but I just wanted to note why I had one and really like that I did.  I had never even heard of a sand ceremony until my DH (who is a pastor) suggested that we do one instead of a unity candle. (We also were married outside, but he just like the idea of a sand ceremony better.) 

Because of our faith, we used one with three colors of sand — one (white) representing God (poured in first by the pastor) that was to represent God’s role as the foundation of our marriage.  Then, my DH and I each took turns pouring small amounts of sand into the vase until our individual vases were empty. Finally, the pastor poured in the remaining white sand, representing God’s covering of and protection for our marriage.  (Couples who do not practice a faith generally just choose two colors.)

The reason I, as a married woman, love having this completed vase of sand in our home is that it is a very strong visual of the fact that, now that DH and I are married, there is no easy, neat, or clean way that either of us could ever get all of our own sand back. Even if we tried to separate out every tiny grain of our own sand, we could not possibly do so without seriously disrupting all of the other sand. And, frankly, it would be impossible for us to not end up taking whole lot of the other person’s sand with us.

The sand seems to settle a little bit more every time I move the vase to dust beneath it, and to me, that represents how, over time, DH’s life and mine continue to become even more  entwined (not the word I’m looking for, but it’s the best one I can think of right now.) 

I definitely can see how someone might initially think, “simple, five-year olds’ craft project” when he or she consider this idea.  That makes sense to me.  However, I just wanted to offer my own experience with this just to provide a different perspective.

There is also cord-braiding ceremony that I’ve seen done, and that was beautiful, too.  Whatever you decide, I hope you and your FI find something that you love!

Post # 7
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Brielle, I love your explanation. I was about to write something very similar, but your post was so much more beautifully composed than mine would have been.

OP, if you truly don’t like the sand ceremony, then don’t do it. However, you would be remiss to simply shrug it off as something childish because of what it’s made of. Maybe open your mind a little bit. I don’t mean to be rude, but your assumption about the sand ceremony being childish did rub me the wrong way a little.

Post # 9
Member
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Brielle really made a romantic point about the sand ceremony. I really can see the appeal a bit better now. 

 

But at the end of the day I don’t think it’s for me. All I can think about is doing sand art as a kid and getting disappointed when the sand got so mixed in it made a disappointing color. 

Post # 10
Member
2382 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We like the wine box idea.  We both write a letter to each other – what we love about the other person, why we want to get married, our hopes, dreams for the future.  Get a bottle of wine that will age an additional 5-10 years well (many don’t).  Place the bottle and letters in a box and seal for 10 years.  The idea is that it’s something for us to revisit on our anniversary, drink the wine and read the letters.  And then do it all over again 🙂

Post # 11
Member
11227 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@chercee:, @shootznladrz89:, and @lovelyduckie:  Thank you all so much for taking time to read my thoughts about why I love the significance behind our sand ceremony. 

In case any of you may want to see it, here is a pic of DH and me after we each took turns slowly pouring our sand and before my pastor poured the top layer of white sand. We did all of this while while two of my best friends (both of whom have A M A Z I N G voices) sang “When God Made You.”  (If you’re not familiar with the song, below is a YouTube link featuring not my friends but professional performers Natalie Grant and Newsong.)

 

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