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I love the idea of a unity candle although I have only seen them used at ceremonies indoors. I had never thought about it until reading your post. I would like to have a unity candle but we are really wanting to have an outdoor ceremony also so I'm not sure what we will do, maybe one in a hurricane lamp would work.
I haven't heard of them not being used for a "higher end" wedding though.
I'd also like to incorporate a unity candle for our outdoor beachside wedding. (I'm not really feeling the sand ceremony trend.) Alternatives I've found to traditional wax candles (which hopefully withstand the occasional breeze, fingers crossed) are the oil lamps from Northwest Glass Designs.
I love how they look like candles. I'm just undecided on whether to go with the taper or pillar style, or a combination of the two. The chimney (hurricane) is really unique, too. Hmm, decisions!
oil_lamp_candles.jpg (23.8 KB, 307 downloads) 3 years old 
I didn't vote; I don't think whether you have it should depend on whether unity candles are "in" or "out". I think it should depend on if you and your FI like the symbolism behind it, and want to do one. To answer the question, yes, people in my area are still doing them, but I haven't been to any outdoor ceremonies recently. I can understand your concern that the wind might be an issue. Have you thought about a sand ceremony instead?
I think it's funny that your wedding planner said that "higher end weddings" aren't doing them anymore.... I'm not sure what money has to do with the symbolism of two people becoming one family. We had an indoor wedding, but I think our set-up could work for you. What about a hurricane glass with a short 3x6 pillar candle inside? You'd have to use 2 tapers, which could be lit and then protected inside tall vases. Then the taper vases would be removed, you'd each protect your own flames and then you'd use the tapers to light the unity candle. The hurricane glass should protect the pillar, as long as it's short enough. Here are some pictures:
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Yeah, that's weird about saying that "higher end" weddings aren't doing them. Sounds more like she doesn't like them personally and is trying to influence you that way, to me anyway. Why would money influence your opinion of the symbolism behind it? I can see saying that it's becoming less common in general, there are trends towards sand/knot/rose/you name it ceremonies in lieu of the candles.
Anyway, we are doing the unity candle bit, but mostly because I don't personally care for the sand ceremony and didn't find any other alternatives we liked. And we both want to have some sort of unity ceremony, so candles it is.
The hurricanes suggested above seem to be the most popular way to deal with wind. The sand ceremony would be a good alternative if you're open to less traditional routes. Tho I keep picturing the sand blowing in my face or something. If it's a religious wedding, you could do the knot/braid thing. One cord for the groom, one for the bride, and one for god, braided together makes one strong, not easily broken cord.
I dunno, I've lost my train of thought now. Good luck!
I always associate unity candles with church weddings, not necessarily high-cost or low-cost weddings. Maybe she means that in her opinion, they are 'overdone' and trendy brides are choosing another element to symbolize unity like a wine ceremony or a sand ceremony?
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Another option if you don't want to do the unity candle is mixing sand. That is was my FI and I are doing at our wedding. Then you don't have to worry about the candles going out.
Yeah when she had said that "higher end" weddings were not doing unity candles, it was news to me...although we are definitely not higher end. Maybe we are higher end wannabees. Anyhoo, I love the oil candle look! Very clean lined and romantic! Whether or not it's high end or low end, I think we are leaning towards not having a unity candle just to save some money and make the ceremony simpler...more simple? I'm an English teacher...I should know which word to use, yet I don't. :)
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Because our ceremony is outside in a breezy meadow, we decided to not have a unity candle and instead are having a local artist do some "unity art".
Having a flame flicker out is the LAST thing i want to be worrying about on the day!
I know that that in our specific Catholic church they are not allowed; the logic behind then isn't recognized. In our wedding guide there's a brief paragraph about how in the church the light represents Christ, and if it means something else (i.e. the couples joining together) that's at odds with the Church's beliefs. And then if the smaller candles are meant to represent the individuas entering into the marriage, then they shouldn't be extinguished once the large candle is lit.
I thought that was interesting, I'd never heard reasons not to do one before. Sorry, I'm realizing now that this sounds like I'm telling you what not to do - but I'm not!!! I just wanted to share something I hadn't thought of before.
You know those trick birthday candles that you can't blow out?? I wonder if they make something like that in a nicer shape that you could use for an outdoor ceremony. That would take away the potential for them to be blown out!
I didn't have one. A friend with an outdoor wedding did and they kept blowing out. Finally the preacher, the best man and I had to form a human wind shield so they could light it. It was like a blooper reel!
@rosychicklet: Ha! That's exactly what I was thinking would happen if we tried. Plus if we leave off this particular tradition, it's one less thing to worry about: table, linen, candle, hurricaine, flower arrangement, lighters, wind, etc. One less thing. I'm all about simplifiying. :)
My wedding is inside and our church does all candles, but I am still not having a unity candle. I think that idea is old.... but that's just me. If you have one, great! I do like the mixing sand idea though. :)
well...I laughed when I saw this one in action, but it was cute:
our friends (outdoor wedding), planted a unity plant.
Then the bride almost wiped her hands on her dress.
Both sets of our parents are still together--mine for 35 years, his for 39, and we just *love* the symbolism of having them pass their unity on to us, so we're having one. It's outdoors, but I found a great three-votive set-up that will cover the flames, and we will be able to have it in our home forever!
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My planner recently suggested that we forgo the unity candle for our outdoor wedding, and this was fine by me because I thought it would probably blow out anyway... She said that nowadays, higher end weddings were not having unity candles for the most part.
Is that what you all hear in your area? Are you having one?