Post # 1
This situation might sound a little complicated, but I’ll do my best
My birthday is in a couple of weeks, and I created a facebook event for it. One of my best friends Lisa has had a past problem with another friend Kim. When I made the invite list, I invited Lisa, but left of out Kim until I talked to Lisa about inviting her. I’ll also add that Kim is more of a group friend. I’ve never once hung out with her by myself, and we’re not super close at all.
My other friend Jess texted me the next day. (Jess if bestfriends with Kim). She asked about Kim not being invited. I basically told her that I wanted to talk to Lisa about it prior to inviting her because it is important to have Lisa at my party, and I don’t want her to be uncomfortable.
I talked to Lisa, and she told me I could infact invite Kim. So, this morning I logged onto facebook to invite her, and realized I couldn’t. Turns out she DELETED ME! I guess Jess talked to Kim. I need to find out exactly what was said to her.
This girl has a bit of a past creating drama. I just think that her deleting me is really silly and basically making a statement. If she really was my friend at all, she could have just talked to me.
I don’t think I was doing anything wrong by waiting a couple days before inviting Kim, do you? Do you think Kim’s reaction is justified?
I am seeing her tomorrow and think I may talk to her about it.
What do you bees think?
Post # 3
@memo: I admit I don’t have Facebook. But I feel you could have talked to Lisa before you created this Facebook event. Then after you figured out who you wanted to invite, you could do it all at once. Of course if you post something online, it can get back to people. Kim heard about it and was pissed. I probably would be too. If it’s your party and your friend, you should be able to decide who is coming without asking for permission.
Post # 4
@memo: Hmm, well I might have just added both ladies and let them figure it out since the issue is between them, but you made it your problem.
I guess you could take the higher road and still invite Kim, even though she’s deleted you.
Post # 5
@memo: I would not have given Jess the info she was looking for: she wasnt just casually asking about her BFF not being invited, she was fishing for info to feed BACK to her BFF. Friends that play both sides of the fence in something tend to be the kind that don’t mind delivering information you would rather have kept private.
If it would have been me, I would have said “Oh, I’m still working on the guest list” and left it at that.
As far as Kim deleting you, it doesnt really sound like she (or Jess for that matter) were awesome folks to begin with. Good ridance to bad rubbish.
Post # 6
@memo: That sounds like a childish way to react, but it looks like you two weren’t even that close anyway.
I’ve had instances where friends have had parties and created events pages on Facebook. One time another friend posted on the page that the creator of the page forgot to invite me and some other people…their response was oops, fixing it now, then they invited me. So I realize I wasn’t on the top of the list but who cares? I knew we weren’t too close and that it was other friends who wanted me there…what is there to be offended about?
Post # 7
I wouldn’t talk to her about it honestly, if she’s THAT big of a baby, I would be happy to not have her around.
Post # 8
I think Kim’s feelings were probably hurt and she deleted you. I think you should have talked to Lisa prior, and not have left someone you call a friend off the list. I think her reaction was justified, and you were wrong not to do all the invites at once.
Post # 9
Facebook makes it easy for people to act like children. Who deletes someone over something like this? Without even talking to them about it! This reminds me of elementary school when someone would decide that you weren’t there friend that day and all of your friends hated you – until tomorrow when you were back to friends and you all hated someone else.
Honestly, Jess doesn’t seem like much of a friend for asking for info and running to Kim. Neither of them are acting like adults.
Post # 10
@sienna76: I just didn’t want to invite both because I KNOW Kim would come either way, and it was more imporant to me to have Lisa there. Lisa is the one who tries to avoid drama, where Kim sometimes goes and looks for it. I did make it my problem because it was important to have one of my bestfriends there over her.
I agree with other pps who said I should have talked to Lisa first, but I didn’t think about it at the time.
Post # 11
@memo: Maybe good riddance then?
Post # 12
@badabing88: I really should have just said I was still in the process of inviting people. I’m so not quick on my feet with responses. I basically replied and said that I wanted to make sure it was cool with Lisa first.
The thing is I never said anything negative about Kim at all.
If there was a girl I really didn’t like and her bestfriend had a party. I would expect her to take priority.
I think she has the right to be upset about it, but she could have just talked to me first. oh well.
Post # 13
@memo: It’s just a crappy situation any time there is drama between friends. I think that Kim may be more upset because she probably thought that you could have just talked to her about it first.
Post # 14
I am sure once her name wasn’t on the Facebook list for everyone to see, that is when you got shit stirrers who decided to tell Kim she wasn’t invited. I am sure even before you even talked to Jess, Kim was already pissed of. Granted, she didn’t need to delete you like a big pouty baby, but she did. Doesn’t sound like you were that close with her anyway. I wouldn’t waste my time finding out what was said. I wouldn’t doubt that someone told her the truth, but she doesn’t believe it anyway.
Post # 15
I think I’m just gonna do the good riddance to this situation. I thought I’d talk to her, but feel like this is probably for the best anyways.
Thanks every for your thoughts!