Post # 1
So color me completely shocked. J and I are, I guess you could say, unofficially engaged. This was a completely random happening and not even provoked by me one little bit.
J and I live together, in a home that I bought myself. As we have been getting more serious, J has really wanted us to buy a home together. He has been very blessed to have a mother who lives on a 10 acre ranch, and has offered to GIVE us one of her 2 acre lots on her lot…Waaaaay away from her actual home. All we would have to do is build.
So that is what were going to do. J wants to start building within the next 1.5-2 years. He’s been looking into construction loans and everything.
The only thing I said to him was “Hold on J…let’s slow down a little. Because honestly, I would really like to be married before we buy a home together.” He looked at me and said “Well yeah…That’s been my plan all along!” I reminded him that we both want a semi-long engagment (at least 1 year) and he said “Well, I guess you better start planning!” And he also said while there won’t be an actual proposal and ring right this minute…He IS planning something.
I kept my cool and played it off like it was just a mutual decision made by 2 adults…But inside I was screaming and jumping up and down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m not going to go crazy planning on anything, but I went over to my mom’s the other night and said “Well Ma….Looks like it’s time for me to start collecting those bridal magazines again!” She was thrilled!
Post # 3
My take on it is this: Once you and your partner decide to get married, you are officially engaged–even if there’s no ring or a formal proposal. Congrats! 🙂
Post # 4
I’m with Grape on this one—yay!!! 🙂
Post # 5
Agreed. FI told me in January that we should start planning if I wanted a winter wedding (which I had mentioned prior) because he didn’t want to have to wait 2 years to get married. At the end of February he proposed. I felt engaged, I didn’t tell people because I didn’t want them to be like “where’s the ring”, but I still think it counts
Post # 6
Eeeek!! LOL! Thanks girls!!! I’ll be sure to keep everyone posted on any proposal/ring porn
Post # 7
Yay! I’m also “unofficially engaged” and the ring is on it’s way. So I”m ringless and in full on planning mode! It feels weird because it’s not how I expected it would happen, but I’m soooooo excited.
Post # 8
I’m with yaneres!! I’m not OFFICIALLY engaged yet either, but in full planning mode and the ring is bought just waiting on it!! 🙁
Post # 9
I agree, and I feel like we’re in the same position. While you may not have a ring on your finger I say you’re engaged. By definition technically I guess I am to and it makes me want to jump up and down with you!
I think the proposal and ring would just be the icing on the cake, plus it’s exciting to get to officially share the news too.
Post # 10
I’m sort of “unofficially” engaged too. It kind of sucks, but it’s kind of nice aswell.
We live together, we work together, we just recently got a dog, we just finished setting up the Christmas tree and decorations… we feel like a real family lol. We’ve also bought the stone for our e-ring which we’ll be setting soon and we’ve discussed many details about our wedding and future together beyond that. I even know pretty much when he is going to propose to me.
In a way, it seems really silly that we’re not just telling everyone we’re engaged. It’s also kind of frustrating. I feel like I can’t really plan until I have a ring on my finger and we actually start telling people we’re official even though we’ve already decided that we are getting married next year. He’s traditional, so he wants to propose to me “properly” before I can call him my fiance.
At the same time, it’s really nice to be this close to him. Everyday I grow to love him more. I try to just cherish the moment.
Post # 11
We are kind of unofficially engaged as well. We have been looking at rings extensively lately, talking about dates, and have even filed for a fiance visa. I am just waiting for the ring to be on my finger and a formal “will you marry me” before I announce it. I just want to announce it already, but feel weird doing it with no ring and it not being “official” i.e. traditional. I still haven’t done any extensive planning, just some preliminaries, bc I don’t want to jinx anything (call me superstitious..)
Post # 12
Sounds like you’re engaged to me…congrats! 🙂
Post # 13
Congrats on your “unofficial” engagement, I can’t wait to hear what he has up his sleeve. And that’s really neat about his mom giving yall some land so you can build your own house, I would love to be able to do that. Good luck with building and your future official proposal!!
Post # 14
I am in the exact same position. Months ago we thoroughly discussed it and decided we definitely wanted to marry each other. The past few months we have set a date, told some friends and family of our plan and even started some of the planning, but some people don’t believe us because I dont have a ring. It is so frustrating!!! I worked with a jewler to design my own ring and went yesterday for my final fitting, and even though in my world we are actually engaged i am SOOO excited for the official proposal Sometimes I just have to remember that the people who doubt what we have don’t matter. The two of us know that we have a commitment to marry each other and in my book that is being engaged. Congratulations to you and your engagement!