- 7 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
I am American, but live in Rome with my Italian fiance. We are planning a 80 person wedding here in Rome, not just because we want an intimate affair, but also because catering is insanely expensive here at over 100 euros per head just for food. Groan…
So, my future father-in-law is one of six siblings, and obviously they are all invited, as family is super important in Italy. However, my fiance is not close with any of them, and has particular antipathy with two aunts, one of whom snubbed me the one time I met her (after we were engaged). Anyway, the other aunt is married to a Jehovah’s Witness, and has converted and her whole family follows this religion. Apparantly, JWs can’t attend non JW weddings. The ceremonies, that is. Basically these people (whom I have never met and FI has not seen is years) are planning on coming from out of town, being put up in a hotel by my FFIL, not attending the ceremony (IE the most important part, the REAL part of a wedding) and then coming and eating and drinking for free at the reception. Oh, and they want to bring their kids who are married and have families of their own. (I am not inviting any first cousins on my side because there are so many.) Not only that, FI cannot stand them (not for religious reasons) and says they are just not nice people.
FI is very outspoken and direct, and has told his parents point-blank that anyone who does not come to the ceremony is not welcome at the reception. But they are so concerned with appearances and gossip that they are giving us a really hard time about it. Is it as ridiculous as it seems to us, or are we overreacting? Should they be allowed to come? Also, the other evil-aunt is INSISTING her kids and their random girlfriends/boyfriends be invited, when we have never met any of them. If this were a 200+ wedding I might not care, but we want it to be intimate for a reason!!
We discussed just saying “”no cousins invited” (except the little ones), but FI’s two cousins on his mom’s side are extremely close to him, and are his groomsmen! How can we deal with this without causing a big fat italian wedding war?