(Closed) Unresolved commitment issues…Did I make a mistake?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I don’t think you jumped the gun at all. Waiting 6 more years is ridiculous IMO. Again IMO, he either wants to marry you or he doesn’t. He shouldn’t need 6 years to figure that out.

I too would have told him the same things. Life is too short to settle, or wait and wait and wait for something that may never come.

Good luck, hon.

Post # 4
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I think you made the right decision.  You’re standing up for yourself while giving him time to figure out what he really wants as well.  Good luck and I hope everything works out.

Post # 5
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Sanfranny1: Hey sweetie, first off **hugs** second of all, no you did the right thing…you can’t help how you feel, how can you plan your life when you don’t know where things are going with you two….6 years is a very long time, how old are you guys? If you are in your early twenties just finishing up school and getting ready to start your lives, well, 6 years isn’t too long, but if you guys are in your thirties, well, yes 6 years does seem a bit long…

I think three years together is a good amount of time before getting engaged…everyone has their own timeline and life plan – I would wait, and see what he says, good luck!

Post # 6
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I definitely think you did the right thing. I was in a long distance relationship for 5 years – but we always had an end date in mind (we were both in school). You have an end date – when you graduate with a masters degree. I definitely think it was a good solution.

Post # 8
Member
253 posts
Helper bee

I definitely think you made the right decision in this matter. Your BF should know if he wants to marry you or not and not have to wait six years to make that decision. Waiting six years more years is ridiculous IMO. I think by know he should know if he wants to marry you. Good luck with this! 

Post # 9
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Sanfranny1: Hey San Fran – My boyfriend wasn’t ready and I ended up leaving him since I knew exactly what I wanted and if he didn’t know if he wanted to marry me after two years then I needed to move on.  I did move on and about 7 months later he started pursuing me again and about 6 months after that he proposed.  The old saying holds very true, if you love something let it go……I loved him and it broke my heart that he didn’t want to marry me – but I respected myself enough not to be one of those girls that just “waits” and “waits” and just puts her life on hold….so I stood up for what I wanted and didn’t look back, until he started knocking on my door!!  Your gut will tell you what to do – I’m just telling you what I did, not everyone needs to leave someone to “shake” them….. good luck!

Post # 10
Member
297 posts
Helper bee

I think the point you got across is perfect.  There’s nothing wrong with wanting progess in ANY relationship, especially a 2 year LDR.  You’re 25, finishing up your Master’s…you’re a catch!  Everyone has their own “goals” in a relationship and in their own personal lives.  You’re letting yours be known and that’s great.  No man should expect you to move across the country when it doesn’t seem like he has any goals for the relationship and it’s unreasonable for a young, successful woman to be in a LDR for an indefinite amount of time.  You’re taking care of yourself and there is nothing wrong with that.  The ball is in his court.. the ship is sailing, it’s up to him whether he wants to join or stay on shore. 

Post # 11
Member
2894 posts
Sugar bee

6 years is a long time. But that time wouldn’t be so hard if you could see him regularly. The point of long distance is to plan for when you could be together – you’re totally right. 6 years in a long distance relationship would be too hard to ask of most anyone. I wish I had more to offer. But I trust you’ll make the best decision for you in the end. Good luck!

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