(Closed) Unruly bridesmaid? Help!

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It sounds like she may be having financial difficulties. I think someone responded on another post like this with a sentiment I really liked – someone you choose to be a bridesmaid is supposed to be one of your closest friends and that street goes both ways – are you being a good friend to her?

Post # 4
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Honestly she has done nothing out of line in my opinion. She probably is dealing with something. I think you are being too hard on her, maybe try to find time to visit her and go order her dress together and have a good chat over the situation.

Post # 5
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

It doesn’t sound to me like she’s done anything out of line. One of my bridesmaids didn’t make it to my shower, or get her dress until two months before my wedding. She was very much there in other ways though, ie. supportive in listening to my venting, etc. Everything worked out, and she was just as much a part of my day as my other bridesmaids, she just had financial difficulties that kept her from being able to be as involved, or able to get her dress.

Post # 6
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I can understand why you’re upset about the shower but I agree with PPs, maybe she has something else going on.  And in regards to the dress – did she miss some sort of deadline for ordering it?  Who cares if she’s the last to do it as long as she gets it in time for the wedding? 

Leave texting and e-mails out of it.  VERBALLY discuss these issues with her and then go from there.  Uninviting her or kicking her out of the wedding party would be extreme, imo.

Post # 7
Member
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@teacherin200829: Sounds like Miss Wishy-Washy…one of my most beloved friends and bridesmaids in person but the minute you try to get her to commit to anything that involves planning it’s all a crapshoot. Although she’s ordered her dress (she was the last one) and has told me that she’s bringing her bf to my wedding, I’m not keeping my hopes up that she’ll even show up….I’ve been disappointed by her empty promises too often. It’s one of those friends that I’ve just had to come to terms with the fact that she doesn’t really view loyalty/friendship the way that I do. When things work out for us to see each other it’s an awesome time and we have an amazing connection…in the past I truly felt we were soulmates. Then I moved I just have to let it go if I want to keep her friendship, which a few months ago I did decide that I wanted to maintain. It took me the last few months to come to terms with this, and be thankful for my “other” friends who DO value friendship/loyalty the same way that I do. I just have to take her friendship the way she will give it, or leave it. After one particularly upsetting disappointment, I sent her a very long heartfelt email, and she did the same thing your BM did — a text back saying “No worries — when we do get together we have the greatest times, I love you xoxoxo”.  I was furious and hurt.

In your case I don’t really see how 1.5 hour drive costs that much money…she should have attended your shower. BUT she did make an effort to ask you how it went…However if she’s not attending your shower but will attend everything else full-force then so be it.

 

Post # 10
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

It’s annoying yes, but it’s her money, whether she has it or not, and she can spend it however she wants.  Perhaps she got the concert tickets a while ago when she had money, someone got them for her?  

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