Post # 1
I wasn’t sure where to put this, so plumped for Beehive as it’s kind of a general question/mini rant.
Has anyone else received a lot of unsolicited help/advice when it comes to the wedding, or is it just me?
Example 1: a colleague I don’t know all that well asked how much the photographer we were looking at was (I said I didn’t really want to say, but that we were happy with what we were paying and love his work; which is true; no way was I going to share the actual figure), and then proceeded to recommend people who ‘are really cheap!’ which is not what we want; photography is really important to us.
Example 2: another colleague asked if we’re having fresh flowers, and I said yes because we prefer them; she then tells me how her daughter used fake and they’re so much cheaper, and she can give me the details.
Example 3: OHs mum was excited about putting the deposit down on our cake. A random friend on her Facebook proceeds to go on about how she can get one for ‘much less’ (bear in mind that OH’s mum never even mentioned or hinted at what we were paying) at the grocery store; we COULD get one from the store she was on about but a) they’re not nearly as nice tasting b) they have no decoration c) they have a choice of just 3 flavours and c) we’d save around $100; hardly collossal.
Example 4: I went shopping for bridesmaids dresses with my mum, and we chose not to divulge our budget as the shop didn’t have prices and I didn’t want them making them up :-s The lady took this to mean we had a small budget and started suggesting ‘high street stores or TK Maxx’. Urgh. (budget was $300 a dress).
I know that most people mean well, but it’s so annoying! If people I know get engaged I always offer to pass on vendor details if they’d like, but that’s it; I don’t start suggsting ways they can save money lol.
Or, maybe I just look cheap?!
Anyone else get this? If so, please share!
Post # 3
lol, how can you assume you look cheap? Please tell me what cheap looks like!
Post # 4
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@barbie86: I’m sure you don’t look cheap! I am also guilty of assuming everyone is on a budget and passing along such tips. Then I check out a brides other posts and see she’s in a super expensive dress and feel like an ass – whoops!
Also, I LOOOVE TJMAXX! LOL
Post # 5
@elliptical2013: I don’t know; maybe I just emanate an air of stinginess or something lol 😉
I think it’s probably partly because budget weddings are a BIG thing in the UK now, and there’s a lot of judgement of couples who spend more (hence why I only share my budget online, and am vary vague otherwise, esp with colleagues); so I think they’re trying to be helpful, which is sweet, but kind of annoying at the same time! I just always smile graciously and say thanks and that I’ll keep x/y/z in mind.
Post # 6
@barbie86: It sounds like people are just trying to be helpful and you should just thank them and forget about it.
Post # 7
@barbie86: People are just trying to help by offer inexpensive alternatives to what you already have. Ia gree it is terribly annoying but it doesn’t get any better. Unless you decline talking any wedding with anyone they will put in their two cents. I am finding it especially hard while pregnant, even harder than when I was planning my wedding becuase with that I had it all figured out and just told people, “We’ve decided on____.” But I hardly discussed it with people in real life. I hardly discuss pregnancy, but somehow people still want to make sure you know that they know better than you.
Post # 8
I think wedding planning just makes people nostalgic. Try to take it as people want to be helpful. It gets hard to find creative ways to take a conversational interest in the bride’s life without offering ideas. After “congrats” what else do people talk about for the year leading up to the wedding? They’re at least trying to acknowledge that it’s something major on your horizon.
Post # 9
I have found in life when you talk about something with others it leads them to offer their opinion. If you aren’t wanting opinions I would keep wedding talk to a minimum, and keep it vague and then change the subect.
Post # 10
@mchitt329: Me too! I esp love their bags (purses?) and sunglasses.
We were actually considering a high-street store for the dresses, but, all 3 of my BMs are VERY slim, and one of them is 6’1″ in bare feet; we wanted floor-length dresses and they were all swinging round her ankles lol
Post # 11
@ieatunicorns: Oh I do! I NEVER bring it up, ever; even with my best friends. I am so conscious of being ‘that bride’ plus honestly, it bores me; it’s bad enough having to discuss the details with my mum, so when I see my friends I really just want to forget about it (OK, that sounds terrible lol). But people are ALWAYS asking how the wedding planning is going, and just aren’t satisfied with ‘good thanks!’; they then start asking about specifics.. :-s
I guess I should be grateful that so many people care so much though lol, esp with the amount of posts I see where people are upset because people aren’t taking enough of an interest!